Riot: Hudson Ryker's Story (Black Hearts Still Beat Book 5) Read online

  RIOT

  A BLACK HEARTS STILL BEAT STORY

  L A COTTON

  Published by Delesty Books

  RIOT

  A Black Heart Still Beats Story

  Copyright © L A Cotton 2022

  All rights reserved.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and events are the product of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons or events is purely coincidental.

  No part of this book may be reproduced or used in any manner without the written permission of the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages for review purposes only.

  Edited by Andie M Long Editing Services

  Cover by Lianne Cotton

  Images licensed from Adobe Stock and Shutterstock

  CONTENTS

  Black Hearts Still Beat

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Epilogue

  Playlist

  About the Author

  Black Hearts Still Beat

  Eva & Rafe’s Trilogy

  Rush

  Rise

  Rule

  Black Heart Still Beats Stories

  Ruin

  Riot

  MOLLY

  “Okay, this is your ID badge.” Letty Panem handed me a lanyard. “Keep it on you at all times.”

  “Got it.” I slipped it over my head and took a deep, calming breath.

  “You good? she asked.

  “Fine.” The fake smile I wore was a total contradiction to my words, but I didn’t want her sympathy.

  Or her questions.

  This—going on tour with one of the world’s hottest rock bands—was my chance at a fresh start.

  One I desperately needed.

  Besides, it meant I got to tour Europe with my best friend in the whole world.

  Who wouldn’t leap at the chance to do that?

  Evangeline Star Walker was my ride or die. My best friend since we were just little kids. We’d grown up in the small town of Lyme, Tennessee, and I didn’t have a single good memory that didn’t include her.

  But Eva wasn’t small town anymore. She was America’s newest country music sweetheart. And I was proud of her. So damn proud.

  When I’d entered her into the Jamesboro Talent Showdown almost a year ago, I’d never imagined that we would be here now; about to embark on a world tour with Black Hearts Still Beat, her boyfriend’s band.

  That’s right. My best friend hadn’t only found herself, she’d found love. The once in a lifetime kind. The kind of love people told stories about.

  I was happy for her, so freaking happy.

  Even if it hurt.

  Even if it was a constant reminder that I would never find what she had. Because I was tainted.

  Damaged.

  I was broken and I wasn’t sure I would ever heal.

  “Hi, Mom,” I clutched the cell phone in my hand, forcing myself to take a deep breath.

  I did that a lot lately.

  Breathed deep, as if every day was a battle.

  “Molly, oh, thank goodness, sweetheart. I’ve been worried sick.”

  Dread curled into my stomach as I said, “Sorry, I… I just needed some time.”

  “I know, baby. I know. Breakups are hard. And Carson, he was such a nice guy. It’s such a shame. I really thought—”

  “Don’t.” A violent shudder rolled through me as I swallowed over the giant lump in my throat. “I… I can’t—”

  “When are you comin’ home, Mol. I need you.”

  “Listen, Mom, I need some time—”

  “Time? What the hell is that supposed to mean? You’ve been gone almost two weeks. I thought—”

  “I’m not comin’ home, Mom.” I blurted out the words that I’d been putting off for days. “They offered me a job, and I said yes. I leave with Eva and the band tomorrow.”

  “What do you mean, you’re not comin’ home?” she shrieked down the phone. “You can’t just leave. What will I do? The twins… what will I tell them?”

  Guilt rose inside me, crashing over me like a tidal wave. Silas and Timmy were everything to me.

  Everything.

  I’d helped raise them, after all. But things were different now.

  I was different.

  And I couldn’t go back to Lyme, I just couldn’t.

  Not yet.

  “I’m sorry. I am, Mom. But this is somethin’ I need to do. Tell them I love them, and I’ll see them soon, okay?”

  “See them when, Mol? You can’t just decide to take off. I need you. They need you.”

  Her words should have comforted me, made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. But my mom meant she needed me to be there to watch the boys and pick up her slack.

  The tears I’d fought so hard to contain burst free and rolled down my cheeks. “I’m sorry. I just… I can’t…”

  “Molly Ann Steinberg, you listen to me and listen good. I know it hurts. I know breakups are hard. But you have responsibilities, young lady. You can’t just abandon them. Abandon me. Not when I need…”

  Blood roared between my ears, drowning out her tirade of how selfish I was.

  She didn’t understand…

  She didn’t know.

  And I could never tell her. I could never do that to her. To myself.

  We were at an impasse. A standoff that might well be the final crack in our relationship. But I could live with her hating me, dubbing me a childish, selfish person. What I couldn’t live with was ruining her—ruining us.

  Mom would find a way to muddle through… and me? Well, I hoped to find my way back to myself.

  The girl I used to be before.

  “Hey you.” Eva joined me at the window overlooking one of the runways at Hartsfield-Jackson. The band and their management team were sequestered away in the VIP lounge, waiting to board our flight to Paris.

  It should have been one of the most exciting times of my life, but the sparkle inside me had all but flickered out in the aftermath of Carson Dutton. Now I was going through the motions.

  Eva laced her arm through mine and laid her head on my shoulder. “I know you don’t want to talk about it, but I just want you to know that when you’re ready, I’m here. I’ll always be here.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Please, stop sayin’ that.” She let out an exasperated breath. “You’re not fine. Not by a long shot. And that’s okay. Whatever you’re goin’ through—”

  “Stop.” I pulled my arm free, stepping away slightly. “Please, babe, just stop.” Tears burned the backs of my eyes, but I refused to let them fall.

  The sympathy in Eva’s concerned gaze was almost too much to bear.

  “I need this job, Eva. I need a fresh start. But you need to stop lookin’ at me like I’m one second away from a breakdown. I’m fine. I’ll be fine.” Glancing away, I inhaled a shuddering breath.

  “Okay,” she whispered. “I’m sorry. I won’t push.”

  When I met her gaze again, a bright smile was pasted on her face. “Are you excited about the trip?”

  “Who wouldn’t be?” I returned it the best I could, even if it did feel fake and all wrong.

  “Paris, Mol. It’s Paris.” She beamed. “I hope we get some time to explore.”

  “Don’t get your hopes up.” Letty had shared the schedule with me and it was intense. A new city every other day. But that was a good thing. If I was busy, if I kept moving, I didn’t have time to think.

  “Yeah, it’s goin’ to be a lot. But we’ll find some free time. We have to. It’s the trip of a lifetime.”

  “What are you two ladies talking about?” Eva’s boyfriend Rafe slid his arms around her waist and dropped his chin to her shoulder.

  “Eva’s hopin’ to see some of Paris,” I said.

  “We’ll find time.” He kissed her cheek. “How you holding up?” he asked me, and I frowned.

  “I’m fine.”

  “Have you talked to Hudson?”

  That name clanged through me like a physical blow to my body.

  “No. Why would I?”

  Rafe shrugged. “After Long Island, I just thought…”

  “Nothing happened.” The defensive edge to my words made Eva flinch and she quietly warned Rafe to leave it.

  “The next few weeks should be fun,” he murmured, but I pretended not to hear him.

  Then he walked into the lounge.

  Hudson Ryker, drummer for Black Hearts Still Beat, and the band’s resident heartbreaker.

  Our eyes collided and I saw the hundred silent questions written all over his expression.

  Was I okay?


  Did I need anything?

  Why had I pushed him away?

  Before he saw the answers in my eyes, I dropped my eyes, breaking the connection.

  Since that night two weeks ago when I’d turned up outside the club where Eva and the band were celebrating, Hudson hadn’t let me out of his sight.

  “My name is Molly Steinberg. I’m Eva Walker’s best friend. If you’d just go inside and ask—”

  The big, muscly doorman shot me a toothy grin. “And I’m Levi Hunter’s best bud, sweetheart.”

  “Seriously.” I let out an exasperated sigh, digging my wallet out of my overnight bag. “Here, see. Photos, of me and Eva.” I opened it to the clear pocket and thrust the damn thing in his face. “I’ve known her my whole life.”

  “Not my problem, sweetheart. Party is invite only and your name isn’t on the list.”

  “Sonofa—” He waved me off, giving me his back. I pulled up Eva’s name and hit call again. “Answer. Come on, Eva, pick up.”

  When she didn’t answer, I tried her assistant Letty again. But she wasn’t answering either.

  Goddamn it.

  I had to get inside.

  I’d come all this way. I just needed… I really needed my best friend.

  Panic swelled inside me, making my pulse speed up. What if they didn’t let me inside and I missed them leave? Where would I go? What the hell would I do?

  Tears streaked down my face. When I’d fled Lyme, I hadn’t anticipated… this. I hadn’t really been thinking much at all except forgetting away from there. Of course they wouldn’t just let me in. Eva was a big star now. She had security and an entourage and fans.

  And I had…

  “Oh my God, there he is,” someone yelled. “Hudson, Hudson over here. I love you, oh my God! Hudson, I love you.”

  The commotion behind me drew my attention and I turned to find a group of scantily clad girls all screaming and pointing at… Hudson Ryker, one fourth of Black Hearts Still Beat, and the guy I’d spent many a night fantasizing about.

  Shit. I swiped at my eyes, trying to dry them quickly. This was so not how I wanted to see him again. He was one of Eva’s boyfriend’s best friends. A rock star. A freaking world famous idol.

  And for a brief moment in time, he had been mine.

  I inched backward, suddenly regretting coming here. I needed Eva, God, I needed her more than anything. But I’d underestimated what seeing Hudson again would do to me.

  I turned to leave, to get a cab and hightail it back to some shitty motel. I could call and connect with Eva tomorrow. Yeah, that seemed—

  “Molly?”

  My heart stopped dead.

  “Mol?”

  Sniffling, I turned slowly and met Hudson’s clouded expression.

  “What are you—” His whole demeanor changed, his eyes narrowing. “What the fuck happened?”

  “I-I…” I stammered. “I…” The emotional storm raging inside me spilled over and an ugly sob escaped my lips.

  Hudson shoved past his bodyguards and dropped to his knees before me. “Molly, what is it? What’s—”

  “Mol?” Eva appeared, barging through the crush to reach me. “What happened? What are you doin’ here?”

  Tears slid down my cheeks as sheer relief filled me. She was here.

  Eva was here.

  “I-I… I got here and then security wouldn’t let me in. I-I… I waited.”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Hudson leap up and lunge for the doorman, knocking his big body into the wall. “You wouldn’t let her in? Are you a fucking idiot? That’s Molly… It’s—”

  “Hud.” His bandmates Rafe and Damon yanked him back, directing him to one of the cars, and Letty jumped into action, checking the man over.

  “Molly?” Eva touched my arm, bringing my attention back to her. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

  And then I said eight little words I never thought I’d ever say.

  “Can I stay with you for a while?”

  Shaking the memory out of my head, I risked peeking back over to where Hudson was standing with Damon and Levi at the bar. He didn’t look back at me. Not that I blamed him.

  For the last two weeks, he’d shielded me from the world, from the questions everyone had about my sudden arrival.

  But the band’s vacation was over. The first leg of their Blood Runs Thicker world tour started today and if I was going to be a part of it; if I was going to leave Lyme behind and chase a fresh start, I couldn’t hide behind Hudson Ryker anymore.

  HUDSON

  “This beats the tour bus any day of the week.” Damon grinned as he stretched out in his first-class seat.

  We’d boarded the plane twenty minutes ago. Next stop, Paris.

  There were days when I still couldn’t believe this was my life. The sold-out arenas. Hit records. The fans. Fuck, the fans were something else. Life with the band had been nothing but one big party for the last two years.

  But this—the world tour we were about to embark on—was something else.

  So why the fuck didn’t I feel excited about it?

  I scanned the cabin, rolling my eyes at Levi and his girl Phoebe whispering sweet nothings like they weren’t surrounded by the rest of us. But I guess I needed to cut him some slack. They’d had it rough, and for a minute there, none of us were sure the two of them would work things out. Life with a rock star was hard. But life with a rock star with a serious substance abuse issue and enough emotional baggage to fill the plane we were sitting on… well, that required the love of a strong woman.

  I was happy for them. The same way I was happy for Rafe and Eva. But watching them was a double-edged sword. One that often felt impaled through my chest. Right through my fucking heart.

  I didn’t want to fall in love. Love made you weak. It made you fucking crazy. Besides, touring, never staying in one place for more than a couple of nights, it made it too easy to take what the groupies were offering, and too damn difficult to put down roots.

  Rafe and Levi got lucky.

  I wasn’t about to pin my hopes on the same fortune.

  “So, what’s going on there?” Damon flicked his eyes to the front of the cabin where Letty and Molly sat, poring over our schedule for the next six months.

  “Nothing.” I let out a heavy sigh and flagged down a stewardess. “Whiskey on the rocks. And keep ’em coming.”

  “Of course, Mr. Ryker.” A knowing smile played on her lips, and I internally groaned.

  She was a fan.

  Of course she fucking was.

  “But in Long Island the two of you—”

  “Leave it, yeah, D.” I groaned, reclining my seat.

  “So you’re not—”

  I shot him a cold glare and he held up his hands. “Fine. Shutting up.”

  “Here you go, Mr. Ryker. If you need anything else,” she said, flashing me a seductive smile, “don’t hesitate to ask.”

  “Jesus,” Damon mumbled. “She might as well have offered to sink to her knees and blow you right here.”

  “Jealous?” I quipped, because that was me. The joker. The sarcastic one. The one who hid behind innuendo and indifference.

  “Have at her.” He shrugged. “Although, I’m not sure Mol—”

  “There’s nothing going on between me and Molly, so drop the fucking subject.” I drained my glass and closed my eyes. Pushing all thoughts of Molly Steinberg out of my head.

  It was going to be a long fucking tour.

  My eyes flickered open, my skull pounding from all the whiskey I’d drank. The quiet cabin was bathed in a blue-tinged luminescent glow, everyone sleeping as the plane glided through the inky sky outside.