Penance and Promises: A Chastity Falls Novella Read online

  Penance and Promises

  A Chastity Falls Novella

  L. A. COTTON

  Titles by L. A. Cotton

  Fate’s Love Series

  Fate’s Love

  Love’s Spark

  Love Collides

  Chastity Falls Series

  Loyalty and Lies

  Salvation and Secrets

  Tribulation and Truths

  Redemption and Regrets

  Penance and Promises

  Liar Liar Duet

  Liar Liar

  The Austin Brothers Series

  The First Time is the Hardest

  Standalones

  Lucky Penny

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  Published by Delesty Books

  First eBook Edition

  Copyright © L. A. Cotton 2017

  All rights reserved.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and events are the product of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons or events is purely coincidental.

  No part of this book may be reproduced or used in any manner without the written permission of the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages for review purposes only.

  If you are reading a copy of this book that has not been purchased from a licensed retailer please destroy it. Thank you for your support.

  Edited by Jenny Carlsrud Sims of Editing4Indies

  Cover designed by Natasha Snow of Natasha Snow Designs

  Image: Mandy Hollis at MHPhotography

  Models: Julio Elving and Amee Thompson

  Contents

  Penance and Promises

  Titles by L. A. Cotton

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Epilogue

  Playlist

  About the Author

  Acknowledgments

  To my readers.

  This is for you.

  Chapter 1

  ~ ANA ~

  “How are you feeling?” Cara breezed into the house, air kissing me as she passed.

  I closed the door and followed her. Well, waddled since that was all I’d been able to do for the last month. “Tired. My feet hurt all the time, and I’m sure she’s playing hockey with my bladder.”

  “You look good, though.” She smiled, helping herself to a cookie. “And you baked.”

  I rolled my eyes with a groan. “Because Jax won’t let me do anything else. He has me holed up in the house ‘taking it easy.’ I’m going out of my damn mind.”

  Cara stifled a laugh. “He’s only worried. The doctor said you had to take it easy. Enjoy it while you can; once she arrives, life will never be the same.”

  My hand slid to my stomach. Cara was right. In less than six weeks, everything would change. But I couldn’t wait. Couldn’t wait to meet my daughter. I imagined her with Jackson’s green eyes and my dark hair. It was still hard to believe we were at this point ... after everything.

  “Hey, are you okay?” Cara’s voice softened, and I nodded, forcing my lips into a weak smile.

  “It’s nothing.”

  “It’s not nothing.” She came around the counter. “You can tell me, whatever it is.”

  I liked Cara, I really did. We’d hit it off when she arrived. I guess I could relate to her, and over the last four months, we’d become good friends. But ...

  “Ana, it’s okay.” Her eyes shone with understanding, and I let out a resigned sigh.

  “I still can’t believe he’s here. I’m sorry. I know that makes me a horrible person, but I just can’t get past it.” My eyes dropped away, guilt coiling around my heart.

  “Hey, hey,” Cara soothed. “Don’t apologize. You have every right to feel the way you do. But he’s trying; Braiden is really trying to make amends.”

  I lifted my head to meet Cara’s warm smile. It was easy to see why he’d fallen for her. Cara was feisty and took no shit from Braiden, but she also had a good heart. I’d known it from the second I met her. Besides, to forgive Braiden of his past, she had to be a strong person.

  “I know,” I whispered.

  That was the kicker. I knew; I just wasn’t sure it would ever make a difference.

  Not to me.

  The front door opened, and the deep rumble of laughter filled the house.

  “... almost had you that time.”

  “You wish. I had like five paces on you.”

  “Whatever. Soon I’ll be all over you, Daddy.”

  Cara squeezed my hand, her lips pressed together, but I shrugged her off and made myself busy. It would take time to get used to hearing Jackson and Braiden like that.

  Like old times. Times I’d worked hard to forget.

  “There you are,” Cara purred, giggling when Braiden scooped her up for a kiss, or at least, I figured he did that, since they could hardly keep their hands off each other. I sliced another piece of apple, keeping my eyes on the knife, when a hand slid around my waist and rested on my stomach. “How are my girls?” Jackson dropped his chin to my shoulder, his damp jersey sticking to me. “I missed you.”

  “We missed you too.”

  He turned me to face him, capturing my lips. The knife dropped out of my hand, clattering onto the cutting board, but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered when Jackson kissed me. Even after all this time, his touch erased everything. He deepened the kiss, sweeping his tongue into my mouth. Crowding me against the counter, he was careful enough to give my growing bump room. “I love you,” he murmured against my lips.

  Someone cleared their throat behind us. Braiden. I silently cursed. Reluctantly, I slid my arms down Jackson’s chest and pushed hard, shooting him a glare. His eyes widened and then narrowed, searching my face.

  “Morning, Ana.”

  “Braiden,” I said curtly, pushing past Jackson. “If you all will excuse me, I’m not feeling so great. I think I’m going to lie down.”

  Cara tried to catch my eye, but I kept my head down as I left the kitchen. Irritation worked its way through my body, and I felt my pulse ratchet. “I’m sorry, baby,” I cooed to my stomach, rubbing lazy circles over the protruding bump. “I don’t know what’s gotten into me.”

  I wasn’t always this hostile when Braiden came over. Ever since Jackson gave him some work with his company, it seems he’s over all the time. But something had changed. It was like the more Jackson let him into our lives, the more I closed down. Maybe it was my motherly instinct kicking in. But something felt ... wrong. Like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop or for the storm to arrive.

  I only hoped I was wrong.

  ~

  “Hey.” Warm hands slid around my waist and rested on my stomach. The baby kicked with happiness, or that was what I liked to tell myself. “Are you okay?” Jackson asked, his voice quiet.

  “Honestly,” I whispered, hating that I was even admitting this to him, “I don’t know.”

  Jackson tucked his face into the crook of my neck, pressing a kiss to my skin. “Talk to me.”

  “I just can’t get my head around it, Jackson. I’m trying, I really am, but something feels...” I stopped myself. I didn’t want to jinx things—not when things between us were so good—but Jackson had other ideas.

  “Hey,” he said. “You can te
ll me anything, Ana. No more secrets, remember?”

  With a heavy sigh, I replied, “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive him.”

  There, I’d said it.

  Jackson kissed me again. It was softer this time. Reassuring. “No one is asking you to.”

  “But ...”

  Jackson rolled me onto my back and lay next to me, his face hovering over mine. “I’ll never ask you for something you can’t give. We’ve been through too much. You want him gone, just say the word.”

  “I—” Did I want that? No Braiden meant no Cara, and she’d become a good friend. Something I didn’t have in droves. And for as much as it pained me to say, Jackson seemed to like having Braiden around. He hadn’t said it, but I’d noticed the change in him.

  When we moved to Tampa, he lost so much—Otis, V, his friends, even the family who had raised him. Jackson lost everything he ever knew, and although he chose me—chose a better life—I knew a part of him clung to the past. It probably always would.

  “How do you do it?” I said unable to meet his intent gaze.

  “He’s family. Even after everything, he’s still family, Ana. I can’t change that.” Jackson’s fingers tilted my face up to his. What I saw staring back at me sucked the air from my lungs. “You’ll always be the most important thing in my life, and I’ll always choose you. You know that, don’t you?”

  I nodded, unable to reply over the thick lump in my throat.

  I knew it. But I also knew Jackson meant every word about Braiden. They were family—maybe not by blood, but they were connected in other ways. And for as much as I didn’t understand it, Jackson would always honor that.

  “Did they leave?” I whispered.

  Jackson smiled. “Yeah, but the doctor said ...”

  “I don’t care what the doctor said; I’m not made of glass, Jax. I won’t shatter if you touch me.” And I needed him to touch me. More than anything, I needed him to erase the black clouds hanging over me.

  Hesitation flashed in his eyes, but I ignored it, leaning up to kiss him. “Make me feel, please.”

  Jackson kissed me deeply, his tongue gliding against my own and igniting the slow burn between us, but I felt his reluctance. How delicately he touched me, held me. Jackson was holding back. Scared to hurt the baby or me. But I needed this. Needed him to eliminate the doubt—the nagging feeling that something was coming.

  “Jackson.” I moaned against his mouth, running my hand down his chest to the waistband of his jeans.

  “Slow down. There’s no rush.” He pulled away and smiled.

  My own smile slipped, the desire ebbing away. It was irrational to think he didn’t want me like this. He’d never purposely made me feel like that, but this new super protective version of him didn’t sit well with me. I still needed all of him. Loyal. Protective. Virile. Dominant.

  Jackson chuckled, leaning in to press his lips to my neck, sending tiny shocks bolting through me. But when his hands ran up and over my stomach, he yanked away. “Did you feel that?”

  “Of course, I felt it.” My frustration melted away at the look of pure awe shining in his eyes.

  “I still can’t believe it.” Jackson tucked himself back into my side. His head rested on my shoulder as his hand remained on my rippling stomach. And I knew the moment had passed. “She’s in there, our daughter.”

  “Well, you didn’t really think the stork delivered her, did you?” I mocked, rubbing my cheek against the top of his head.

  She kicked again, harder this time, and we both quieted to take in the moment.

  “Wow,” fell from Jackson’s lips in a whisper. “I can’t wait to meet her. If she’s anything like you, she’ll have me wrapped around her finger in no time.” I nudged his stomach with my elbow, and he winced. “You know it’s true. I was a goner that first day.”

  Jackson looked back at me, and I stared up at him, tears glistening in my eyes. “What is it?” he asked.

  “I- it’s just these damn pregnancy hormones.” I sniffled, wiping away the tears with my wrist. “I’m fine.” I forced a smile, but it didn’t reach my eyes.

  I didn’t want to ruin the moment with my irrational fears. Not when Jackson was so happy and so full of love that my own heart wanted to burst out of my chest. I couldn’t do that to him. Besides, it was probably nothing.

  Wasn’t it?

  Chapter 2

  ~ JACKSON ~

  “Maybe we should cool off with the runs?” Braiden slowed his pace, beads of sweat running down his forehead. Tugging up his white wife beater, he wiped his face.

  “Let me handle Ana, okay?” I slowed beside him.

  “I’m just saying I don’t want to tread on any toes, not with the due date so near. She doesn’t need any extra stress. Cara said—”

  “I said let me handle it.” I ran a brisk hand over my damp hair, droplets of sweat flying everywhere. Usually, our three-mile morning run left me feeling pumped, but today, I felt restless. Something I hadn’t felt in a while.

  “Are you oka—”

  “For fuck’s sake”—I groaned—“can’t you just leave it?” Pushing off again, I sprinted past Braiden. His protests rolled off my back as I pounded the sidewalk.

  Things were supposed to be getting easier, not harder. Braiden and Cara had been in Tampa for four months now. But every week, Ana seemed to grow more uncomfortable with his presence. I should have recognized the signs when they first appeared. Ana stood there, on our doorstep, facing off with the guy who had tried to ruin her life—our lives—and invited him in for coffee. Few women would do that. But my Ana was strong. Stronger than she gave herself credit for.

  But I’d known she was only doing it for me. Not for her or in the name of forgiveness, no—Ana let Braiden into our home because I silently asked it of her.

  “Wait up, fucker.” Braiden fell into a steady pace beside me. “I wanted to ask you something.”

  “Yeah?” I kept my eyes ahead, focused on my stride and keeping my breaths even.

  “So I was thinking, hmm, shit, this is ... Well, this is ...”

  “Will you get to the point?”

  “Right, right.” He hesitated, and I smirked to myself. One thing Braiden had never been was unsure of himself, so I knew this had to be big. “So I was thinking of asking Cara to marry me.”

  I halted, dropping my hands to my thighs and sucking in a couple of deep breaths. “That’s”—I looked up at him—“serious.” And the last thing I expected to fall from his mouth.

  “Yeah, well, she’s a keeper. Not many chicks would put up with what she has for a guy like me, but I guess you know all about that.” My jaw tensed, and Braiden threw up his hands. “Whoa. I’m not trying to be a dick.”

  “I know.” I did. Braiden had changed. Maybe it was Cara or maybe it was his stint inside, but either way, I’d seen it in his eyes when I answered the door. Braiden wanted to make amends. But I knew better than anyone that sometimes absolution didn’t come from those around you; it had to come from inside yourself … and the guy had a long way to go to forgive himself.

  “So what do you think? Do you think she’s too young?”

  “She followed you out here, didn’t she?” That said all it needed to in my book.

  “I guess. But what if she decides she wants more? More than a life hiding away with me. She’s twenty-one, Jackson. Am I a selfish jerk for even thinking this?”

  I narrowed my eyes. “Do you love her?”

  “More than anything.”

  “Then that’s all that matters. Hasn’t she proved herself enough? It’s time for you to step up and show her how much she means to you.”

  Braiden considered my words for a second and ran a hand around to his neck, tilting his head to one side. “I guess.”

  “You guess?”

  He shook his head. “You’re right. Of course, you’re right.”

  Clapping him on the shoulder, I laughed. “Guess this is an early congratulations then.”

 
; “She hasn’t said yes.”

  “I think you have it in the bag.” I began to run again.

  “Cool.”

  “Cool?” I laughed, glancing over my shoulder. “I think Cara will want something a little more than ‘cool.’”

  “Fuck, you think?” Braiden jogged up beside me. “I figured we’d just do something quiet. It’s not like we have anyone to invite except you and …” His voice trailed off.

  “You can say her name.” I felt bad for the guy. I couldn’t help it. Even now, after everything, a part of me still remembered the bond we’d once shared. “Look, you have us, and you could always invite Fran—”

  “Oh shit, do I have to ask for his blessing?”

  I smirked again. “How do you think he’ll take it?”

  “I’m fucked.”

  We both laughed, our feet pounding against the sidewalk.

  “You haven’t thought about asking Ana?” Braiden blurted out of nowhere. I stuttered out, “I mean yeah, sure, I have …” But I’d wanted us to heal first. To have a chance to grow and discover each other out from under the Donohue shadow. Time just slipped away as we adjusted to our new lives, and now, the baby was coming.

  “So what are you waiting for?”

  Shit. He was right. What was I waiting for?

  ~

  “Ana, it’s me,” I called out, grabbing a towel off the counter to wipe my face.

  “In the den.” Her voice floated into the kitchen, and I went in search of her.

  Walking into the room, my lips curved into a smile at the sight of her lying flat on the sectional, reading a book to her bump. “What are you doing?”

  She turned her head. “We’re reading Shakespeare.”

  I shook my head with gentle laughter. Of course, they were.

  “Shouldn’t you be at the office?”

  “I decided to take the morning off and work from home.”