Penance and Promises: A Chastity Falls Novella Read online

“Jax”—she sighed—“you don’t need to babysit me. We’re fine. Aren’t we, baby?” Placing the book down, Ana smoothed her hands over her stomach. I’d never get used to the sight of her, and the glow that seemed to radiate from her. She looked even more beautiful if that was possible.

  “Come here.” I went to her, helping her up a little so I could slide in and rest her head on my legs. Ana smiled up at me. “I like working from home days.”

  Leaning down, I dropped a kiss on her nose. “Me too. Now, what are we reading?”

  “Well, we were reading A Midsummer Night’s Dream, but I wanted to talk to you about something.”

  “Okay.” I stroked my fingers through her hair, curling a loose strand around my finger.

  “Names.”

  My chest filled with excitement. “You’re ready to talk about them?”

  She nodded, a grin tugging at her soft lips. “I think it’s time.”

  Damn right, it was. Ana had wanted to wait. Until every milestone, every OB appointment. In the early days, we’d discussed a few names, but Ana didn’t want to decide anything. Not until she knew with absolute certainty that everything was okay.

  “So I know you like Isabella but what about Emma?”

  “Emma?”

  “You don’t like it?” Anna frowned, cute little lines creasing the corners of her eyes.

  “It’s nice enough; I guess I just never thought about it.” It had never come up before.

  “The English meaning is whole or complete. And I thought—”

  I slid my hand down her body and rested it on the bump. “You thought it was the perfect name for the thing that would complete us.”

  “Yes.”

  “I love it.”

  I did. Words were Ana’s thing. Usually, it was Shakespeare, but Ana had a gift for choosing the right word for the moment. And this was perfect. We’d come so far. Overcome so much. The life growing inside Ana—our daughter—was a testament to that.

  “Emma,” I whispered over the lump in my throat. Maybe it was the conversation with Braiden or maybe it was this moment right here, but I realized I didn’t want to wait for the perfect time. Ana was already my everything. She was going to be the mother of my child. She owned my heart and soul.

  “Marry me?”

  Her eyes widened as she gasped. “What?”

  “Marry me,” I said with more conviction.

  “Jackson, I …” Ana’s eyes glossed over, and my heart swelled in my chest until I thought it might burst.

  “I should have done this a long time ago. You have owned me since that day you climbed out of that cab, Savanah Parry. I’ve never known a more determined, strong, and brave woman. You are my strength, my reason, my life, and I should have given you my name the second you left Chastity Falls with me. I love you, always.”

  Tears streamed down her face. I did my best to swallow the ones burning in my eyes, but I felt wetness around the corners of my eyes.

  “Yes, yes! Of course, the answer is yes.”

  I had no ring. No surprise engagement party planned. Nothing. But our love had never been about that. It was about two lost souls finding one another and making the pieces whole. Ducking my head, I covered her lips, sealing my promise to love and honor and cherish her forever. If it were possible, I would have married Ana right then and there on our duck egg blue sectional.

  “I want to make you Mrs. Ana Pierce as soon as possible,” I murmured into her mouth.

  “Jax … Jackson.” Ana pulled back, breaking the kiss. “What’s the rush? We have all the time in the world. The baby is—”

  “Ana?” I watched in horror as Ana’s body tensed and pain contorted in her expression. The room closed in around me, and panic constricted my chest. “Ana, what is it?”

  “Something’s wrong,” she cried out, clutching her stomach.

  “Shit, okay, let me get my cell phone.” I kept one hand on Ana while digging in my track pants for my cell. Ana winced in pain as I dialed her doctor and waited. “There’s no answer. Do you think you can move?”

  “Y- yeah, I think so.” She panted, her face twisted with alarm.

  I slid out from under her and helped Ana to her feet. There was no water or blood, which I figured was a good sign, but I didn’t like her quiet moans. We still had six weeks until the baby was due. It was too soon. And while I led Ana out of the house and to my Jeep, all I could think was, Please let my girls be okay.

  ~

  “How is she?” Braiden handed me the bag. “I got here as fast as I could.”

  “Thanks, I appreciate it.”

  “Anytime. You know that,” he said. “Has the doctor been in yet?”

  “They’re still running some tests. The pain has subsided, but Ana’s blood pressure was too high, and they think it was distressing the baby.”

  “Shit.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “If you guys need anything …”

  “Yeah, thanks.” I’d asked him to bring me a change of clothes since I was still in my running gear. The nurses had told us to prepare for Ana to be admitted for a few days for observation. “I’d better get back in there. Ana is a mess.”

  “Okay, well, you know where we are if you need us. Tell Ana that Cara was asking about her.”

  “Thanks.”

  Braiden watched me go; I felt his gaze on my back. I didn’t know why, but I’d lied to Ana and said Max would bring me a change of clothes at the hospital. With the stress she was already under, I didn’t want her thinking about Braiden.

  “Hey.” I slipped into Ana’s room and closed the door behind me. “Any sign of the doctor yet?”

  She shook her head, worry shining in her eyes. “The nurse said he shouldn’t be too much longer.”

  “How do you feel?” I moved to the side of the bed, and Ana reached out to me. I clasped her hand in mine, placing the bag on the chair beside me.

  “Tired. Scared. I just want to know if everything’s okay. It’s too soon for the baby to come, Jax. She’s too small. She isn’t ready. We’re not ready.” Fresh tears rolled down her cheeks, and I brought a hand to her cheek, sweeping them away with my thumb.

  “Hey, hey.” I moved my hand back to hers. “Everything is going to be fine. The nurse said it’s probably your blood pressure. The baby just got a little distressed. It’s going to be fine.”

  It had to be.

  A knock sounded on the door, and Dr. Benns poked his head inside. “Ahh, Ana, Jackson, nice to see you both again; although I wasn’t expecting you for another six weeks.”

  I knew it was his attempt to lighten the mood, but I tensed, feeling my jaw clench. It wasn’t the time to joke; I needed to know that Ana and my daughter would be okay.

  “Is everything okay with her?” Ana rushed out, and he smiled. “Everything with the baby is fine. I’m more concerned about you right now.”

  “Me?”

  The blood drained from my face. Ana was already under orders to take it easy, so whatever was coming wasn’t good.

  “We found protein in your urine, and your blood pressure is higher than we’d like to see.”

  “You think I’m developing pre-eclampsia?”

  His eyes softened. “We don’t think, sweetie; I’m afraid the signs are all there.”

  Ana sighed, the fight leaving her body, and then something cracked in my chest. I didn’t need to look at her to know she was crying. Her body shook with her silent tears.

  “What does this mean, doc?” I asked, rubbing my temples to stay focused.

  “Well, we’ll start meds to stabilize Ana’s blood pressure and monitor the baby closely.”

  “Can I go home?” Ana clutched my hand like a vise.

  “We’ll need to keep you for a few days, but if you respond to the meds, we can discuss release. Either way, it’ll be bed rest for the duration of your pregnancy.”

  “Worst case?” I blurted out, a million scenarios running through my head. None good.

  “Well, sometimes there are complica
tions, and we have to deliver the baby early, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. You did the right thing by bringing her straight here, Jackson. Now, I’ll give you some time. The nurse can answer any questions you have, okay?”

  “Thank you.”

  He went to leave but doubled back, Ana’s chart swinging by his side. “Ana, I know it’s easier said than done but try not to worry. The baby is fine for now. We’ll monitor you both closely. You’re in good hands.”

  Dr. Benns left the room. As the door clicked shut, Ana burst into tears. I watched the woman I loved more than anything fall apart, knowing this was one thing I couldn’t fix.

  Chapter 3

  ~ BRAIDEN ~

  “How is she?” Cara looked up from the weird yoga pose she was practicing in the middle of our apartment living room if you could call it that. We needed to get something bigger, but with Cara still in school and me only working the odd day for Jackson, the money Frankie had given us wouldn’t last forever.

  “Stable, I think. Jackson didn’t say much.”

  “Did you see her?”

  I threw down the keys to our car and shook my head. “No, I didn’t see her. I’m the last person she wants to see.”

  Cara jumped up and wiped her hands on her skintight work-out pants. “That’s not true.”

  “I think we both know it is.” I helped myself to a beer from the refrigerator, uncapped it, and took a long pull.

  “She’s just hormonal.” Cara pressed up against me, her sweet smell filling the space behind us, and my dick stirred. “I missed you.”

  Placing my beer down, I hooked my hands under her thighs and dragged her up to me, forcing her legs around my waist. “Not as much as we missed you.”

  “We?” She cocked her eyebrow, excitement dancing in her eyes.

  “Yeah.” I pulled her onto the hard-on straining against my jeans. “We really, really missed you.” My lips came down on Cara’s, hard and demanding, and her body responded, melting into me on a soft moan.

  I guided us to the bedroom, the route imprinted on my mind, and threw her on the bed. Cara stared up at me through hooded eyes, heavy with lust and something else I still couldn’t believe my lucky stars she felt for me. Because while this girl owned me—body, mind, and soul—I just hoped Cara knew how much she meant to me.

  “I love you. You know that, right?” I said, yanking off my t-shirt.

  She nodded, rising to her knees to remove her tank top, but I stepped forward and knocked away her hand. Only one person was undressing Cara.

  Me.

  I walked my fingers down her sides, dipping them into the hem of the spandex hugging her tight curves.

  “God, I missed you.” Cara’s eyes fluttered shut. “Missed this.”

  “It’s only been a few hours.” My mouth traced a path from her chest to her neck. Her neck to her ear. Biting her lobe gently.

  “Too many ...” She sighed, her body quivering under my touch.

  I pulled Cara up with me. Maneuvering her toned legs from under her and pushing her back, I gained full access to her perfect body. Her pants came off next, leaving her in just black panties. Fuck, she was beautiful. Creamy skin and dips and curves in all the right places. Her hair had grown out over the last few months, landing just above her tits like a direct path. My lips curled up at the thought.

  “What?” she asked.

  “Just admiring the view.” I unbuckled my belt and popped the button on my jeans, letting them pool at my feet. My hand wrapped around one of Cara’s ankles, dragging her whole body to the edge of the bed until her legs dangled over the side. My dick stood proudly; I hadn’t bothered with boxer briefs after my post-run shower. I knew Cara was home, and it was just another piece of clothing I’d have to remove.

  “Commando, really?” Cara smirked.

  I angled her lower body against me, ignoring her words. There was only one thing I wanted. Needed. My hand smoothed down her stomach and over the scrap of material covering her. Cara moaned. I did it again. Harder. She moaned louder. Hooking her panties to the side, I slid a finger into her. “So wet.” I grinned, pulling it out and swirling it over her clit.

  Her body bucked off the bed; her eyes shuttered, and her lips parted on a moan. Gripping my dick in my hand, I lined myself up and thrust into her. Cara cried out, clenching around me, and a growl formed in my throat. Nothing felt better than this did.

  Nothing.

  “Shit, Braiden. A little warning,” she rasped.

  “I couldn’t wait.” I groaned, giving myself a second to relish the feel of her.

  “Condom, Braiden, geez.”

  “I’ll pull out, promise.” I slid back in, using her thighs for leverage, and my head dropped back, my eyes closing.

  “Ahh, okay, don’t stop. God, don’t stop.”

  And I didn’t.

  I thrust harder and faster until Cara’s screams filled the room and my heart almost crashed out of my chest. “Fuck, you feel good,” I barked, feeling the familiar tingle building at the bottom of my spine.

  “Pull out. Don’t forget to pull out.” Cara moaned, her voice thick with pleasure. I didn’t answer, too focused on chasing my orgasm.

  “Oh god, god, don’t stop, Braiden, god ...” I pumped her so hard I felt all of her. Every inch. She clamped down on me, her whole body vibrating. And then I felt it. Waves of pleasure pulsing through me. I yanked her body closer, leaning down over her to find her lips.

  After a few seconds, her eyes fluttered open. “That was ...” Her face contorted with alarm. “Tell me you didn’t do that on purpose. Braiden ...”

  I pouted, nestling my face into her neck as I licked away the salty sweet beads of sweat. “Would it really be the end of the world if I knocked you up?”

  Her fist caught me right on the side, and I winced. “What do you think, jerk?” She tried to wiggle free, but I was still on top of her, still inside her.

  “It’s not like it’s the first time.”

  It wasn’t.

  Usually, we used precautions, and Cara had been on birth control until recently. But lately, being around Jackson and hearing him talk about the baby had me thinking about it more and more. About what it would be like to make an honest woman of her, give her my name, my child. Shit, the girl had me completely pussy whipped.

  And I wouldn’t change it for the world.

  “I’m too young to get pregnant. That’s huge; I can’t look after myself let alone a tiny human.”

  “Okay, okay. I’ll pull out next time.”

  She punched me again, but my mouth found hers, and her fist unclenched, looping around my neck.

  “Besides.” She broke away. “I want to be married before we even think about starting a family.”

  Well, damn.

  ~

  “Is it wrong we’re lying here while Ana is laid up in the hospital?” Cara brushed her nose across my chest.

  “It’s not like we can do anything. Besides, Jackson is there with her. If they need anything, he’ll call.” At least, I hoped he would.

  Somewhere over the past four months, we’d grown close again. It wasn’t like old times, but then, we’d both changed. We weren’t the same people anymore. I still hadn’t apologized, but I worked hard every damn day to earn back his respect.

  Ana was a different story; she didn’t like me around, and I couldn’t blame her. What I’d done to her—to Jackson—back in Chastity Falls was inexcusable. But I hoped that one day she’d be able to forgive—even if she never forgot.

  “What are you thinking?”

  A slight smile played on my lips at Cara’s question. We hadn’t known each other all that long, not in the grand scheme of things, but she could read me. She saw past my hard façade and the darkness of my past.

  All she saw was the man I was now—not the guy I used to be. And for reasons I still couldn’t explain, she’d chosen me. Her family, school, a bright future—she’d given it all up for a life with me.

  Me.

>   “Braiden?” Cara propped herself up on her elbow, staring down at me.

  “What you said earlier about starting a family and getting married. You want that?”

  Confusion clouded her eyes. “Someday, sure, but I’m twenty-one, Braiden. I have my whole life ahead of me. I don’t even know what I want to eat most days.”

  She wasn’t wrong, but it didn’t stop the sting.

  “Yeah,” I said, swallowing hard over the lump in my throat.

  “Where’s all this coming from?” Cara nudged my jaw with her nose.

  “Forget it.” I sounded like a petulant child, but I didn’t do the warm and fuzzies. Cara said it herself—she was still young. She had her whole life ahead of her. What could I possibly offer her to make her stick around?

  “Braiden, talk to me. What has gotten into you?”

  “It’s nothing.” I brushed her away, shifting to the edge of the bed. Her eyes followed me as I climbed off and grabbed my jeans. Yanking them on, I padded out of the room. I needed a beer. And then I needed to pound the shit out of something.

  I guess some things never changed.

  ~

  An hour in the gym helped, but it didn’t ease all the crap pumping through me.

  Guilt.

  Irritation.

  Shame.

  Cara hadn’t said a word as I grabbed my keys and skulked out of the apartment, leaving her wrapped in the bed sheet where we’d made love only minutes earlier.

  Made love.

  What the fuck did I know about that? I mean I tried to be a better guy for her. Someone she could depend on and give her the life she always dreamed of. But here we were, living out of a box apartment in a city thousands of miles from her family and the place she’d grown up. Eating nothing more than ramen noodles three nights a week while she finished school and I worked for the only person in the world I had left. Besides Cara, Jackson was it. I could put a ring on her finger—but for what? There was no family. No in-laws to visit on the weekends or big get-togethers at Thanksgiving. And I didn’t know if it would be enough.

  I didn’t know if I was enough.

  My glutes burned as I climbed the stairs to the apartment, my endorphins wearing off. I’d needed to work off my frustration, but now all I wanted was Cara. Although I might not be enough for her, she was it for me.