Ruin Read online

  “Emotions are running high,” Damon added. “We’re all feeling the pressure. But she’s right, we shouldn’t shut Levi out. Not now. Not after what Riley did. An attack against one of us, is an attack against all of us. He needs to know we’ve got his back.”

  “Until the next time he—”

  “Hudson!” Damon let out an exasperated breath. “Whatever personal shit you’ve got going on you need to rein it in. We’re a band, a family, and right now, Levi thinks he’s on his own. That’s on all of us.”

  “Fine,” Hudson grunted.

  “Damon’s right.” Rafe looked out of the tinted windows, torment etched into the lines of his face.

  I didn’t know the Hunter brothers’ full story, but I knew enough. He was the angel on Levi’s shoulder. His protector. I knew what a burden it was to carry someone addicted to the high. What a burden it was to always come second to that devastating little thing called addiction.

  Rafe had Eva now though. He had someone to lean on when the burden got too heavy. I’d never had that. I’d loved Zephyr in solitude. I was his person, his crutch, and when things got rough, I was his punching bag. Never physically, but sometimes words cut just as deep.

  The rest of the ride to the studios was silent, everyone lost to their own thoughts. Eva offered me the odd smile of reassurance, but it did little to settle my soul. I was the outsider here, the enemy. But what they didn’t realize was, keeping my relationship with Levi strictly professional was the only way for us to both survive the connection we shared. I couldn’t be Levi’s lifeline and he couldn’t be the stable secure guy I needed.

  We were doomed long before Riley’s betrayal came to light.

  Levi would get over it. Over me.

  And I would file him away as another moment of weakness.

  The second Levi entered the studio the mood changed. He was late, and the guys were pissed. But Damon insisted they cut him some slack.

  “Hey, man,” he said, stepping up to Levi. “We wanted to apologize for yesterday. It was a bum move.”

  “It’s all good.” Levi wore an easy expression, but it was too easy.

  “Well, we just wanted you to know we’re sorry. We’re in this together.”

  “Together, yeah.”

  I watched him out the corner of my eye. He was a man on the edge, walking a fine line between control and chaos.

  “You guys figure out the backing track yet?” he looked to Rafe and then Hudson.

  “We’ve got a few ideas yeah.”

  “Good, let’s get to it then.”

  “Sounds good.” Some of the tension eased out of Damon’s shoulders. “Letty, we good to go?”

  “It’s all yours.” She motioned to the booth. The band’s instruments were all in place, waiting for the guys.

  Levi grabbed a bottle of water from be mini bar and chugged it down. His eyes flicked to me and went right past me.

  Ouch.

  His silent treatment hurt, but it was no less than I expected. Or deserved.

  Something told me Levi Hunter was choosy about who he invited into his inner sanctum. I’d been granted access but now the doors had been slammed shut in my face.

  It’s for the best. He’ll get over it. You’ll get over it.

  He dropped down beside Eva and she leaned in close, asking him something. His eyes snapped to mine again but what I saw there made me glance away. When I noticed Letty make her way over to them, I couldn’t help but peek though. She perched on the table, handing him her phone.

  Levi scanned the screen. “That’s bullshit,” he growled.

  “It’s for the best,” Letty replied, keeping her voice calm. “We don’t have to worry about her now, and you can focus on the band and the last leg of the tour.”

  “Yeah, whatever.” His teeth ground together. “Problem, Intern?” He narrowed his eyes at me.

  Heat exploded in my cheeks as I shook my head.

  “Do you mind then?” Disdain dripped from his voice.

  “Levi,” Letty warned.

  “Actually, I have some emails and calls to follow up with. I’ll be in the meeting room if anyone needs me.” I hurried out of there, dragging in a shaky breath the second the door closed behind me.

  Levi was hurting, and when he hurt, he lashed out.

  Pressing my head against the wall, I gave myself a second. But it didn’t help. All I could think was...

  What had I gotten myself into?

  “We’re going out,” Letty announced the second her head appeared around the door. It had been a long day in the studio. After retreating to the meeting room, I’d immersed myself in work; everything from social media management, to interview bookings, and replying to fan mail.

  “Out?” I paled, closing my laptop. “Is that a good idea?”

  “It’s just dinner and drinks. Damon suggested it, a peace offering if you will, and Levi agreed.”

  “And we have to go?”

  “Where the band goes, we lowly folk must follow.” She smirked. “You good with this?”

  “Yeah, fine.” I wasn’t, but I couldn’t exactly tell her that. She was technically my boss.

  “I’ve already made the arrangements with the club. They’ve promised complete discretion.”

  “And you believe them?”

  “I already emailed the NDA’s over. They have a VIP section, we’ll have privacy.”

  “Okay.” I started packing up my things. “Did they leave already?”

  “Yeah, the coast is clear.” She gave me a knowing look.

  “How did it go?”

  “Okay. Good. He seemed present, but with Levi everything can appear fine and then come crashing down.”

  Like most addicts.

  “I think a night out will do everyone good,” Letty went on. “He knows the deal. There’s too much on the line.”

  “Yeah.” I didn’t want to argue, to tell her that the line didn’t matter to an addict unless it came littered with white or brown powder.

  He was the label’s star, their leading guy. They didn’t care about whether or not he was suffering, so long as he was fulfilling the terms of their contract. It was the dark side of the industry. Throwing young artists into a world of sex, drugs, and debauchery, and not caring much if they sank or swam, so long as the money kept rolling in.

  “Come on, I have a car waiting.”

  We made our way out front and climbed into the familiar black SUV.

  “I never thought I’d say this, but I miss the tour bus.” Letty sank back against the leather seats.

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, it kind of becomes home after a while. I like life on the road, waking up in a different city every morning. The beds suck, but I’m usually so tired I don’t really notice.”

  “I don’t know, my hotel bed is pretty awesome.” I smiled.

  “Yeah, you’re not wrong there. I guess this life is either in your blood or it’s not.”

  “What about relationships? Friends? It can’t be easy maintaining those when you’re away from home so much.”

  Sadness washed over her. “Home hasn’t been home in a long time.”

  “I know that feeling.”

  “Look at us, working with the hottest rock band of the moment and we both look like our favorite puppy just died.” Letty chuckled but it came out strained, and her expression sobered. “I’m glad you’re here, it’s nice to have another girl along for the ride. Although if you and Levi—”

  “Letty,” I said feeling my chest constrict. “There is no me and Levi.”

  A knowing glint sparkled in her eye and she said two little words that I felt all the way down to my soul.

  “We’ll see.”

  Levi

  I don’t know why I’d fucking agreed to this. Everyone was crowded into a long booth, tucking into their food, while I sat there, trying to look anywhere but at Phoebe. She looked stunning in a simple black dress with ankle boots. She’d styled her hair into another complex braid, leaving
the creamy expanse of her neck on display. I could imagine kissing her there, sucking the spot right over her pulse and making her moan.

  Her eyes caught mine, but she instantly looked away, only making my mood darker.

  I didn’t want to be here, but Damon was trying to do a good thing, and I needed the guys to believe I wasn’t two steps from falling into the deep end.

  Uncapping my water, I took a long pull, letting the cold liquid douse some of the anger swelling inside me. But water wasn’t going to cut it, not if I wanted to relax.

  Lifting my hand in the air, I signaled one of the servers. She sauntered my way. “What can I get you?”

  “I’m going to need something a little stronger than this.” I motioned to the bottle of water.

  “What’s your poison of choice?” She batted her eyes, swishing her long platinum blonde hair over one shoulder. The Cube was a high-end bar and restaurant overlooking the city, with a nightclub below. The VIP section was a secluded mezzanine above the dance floor. It was quiet now, but later it would be filled with people all looking for a good time.

  “We stock an excellent range of vodka—”

  “No vodka,” I snapped, feeling the icy fingers of the past wrap around my throat. “Whisky on the rocks.”

  “You got it. Anything else I can help you with, Mr. Hunter?” Heat blazed in her eyes, rolling off her tight little body in heady waves.

  She knew who I was... and like most women on the planet, she wanted a taste.

  “That’s all... for now.” I smirked, letting my eyes run over her chest, lingering on her ample rack spilling out the top of her crisp white blouse. Blondie looked like she’d be down for a good time. She’d probably let me lead her to the bathroom and fuck her up against the wall. There was just one problem...

  She wasn’t Phoebe.

  I felt her heavy gaze as I flirted with Blondie, but when I slid my eyes her way, Phoebe ducked her head. My fist clenched against my thigh. She was shutting me out. Just like that, she’d decided we were done.

  Well, fuck that.

  I was Levi fucking Hunter.

  And no one told me no.

  No one.

  The more I drank, the better I felt. I knew Rafe and Letty were worried. They’d told me as much when they’d suggested I switch to water earlier. But I didn’t listen. It wasn’t like I was shitfaced and about to puke up my deepest darkest secrets. The liquor helped; it ran through my blood stream making everything numb.

  Blondie kept the drinks coming. She also went out of her way to let me know she was available for more than just drinks service. The way she licked her lips, let her hand brush mine, the sheer lust swirling in her eyes… yeah, she was game for a good time.

  I watched her across the room as she chatted to the bartender of the VIP section. We had exclusive use but somewhere over the last hour, a handful of other people had joined us. There were associates of another band we’d performed with a few times, and our quiet dinner became an intimate party.

  “Is that a good idea?” Damon dropped down beside me, eyeing the glass in my hand.

  “If you’re only here to give me the speech, you’re wasting your breath.”

  “I’m just worried.”

  “Well, don’t be,” I hissed. “I’ve got a handle on it. It helps take the edge off.”

  “You’ll tell me if it becomes an issue?”

  I nodded, even though we both knew I wouldn’t.

  “Listen, about yesterday...”

  “Forget it. I already have.” Another lie.

  “It was the wrong call.” Damon sighed. “But tensions were high, and we wanted to give you your space.”

  “I got that memo when I got handed my own room key.”

  “Shit, Levi, you could have stayed in the suite. We just thought—”

  “That I wanted space? Yeah, I got it.”

  He let out a strained breath, rubbing a hand down his face. “The truth is, we’ve all been waiting for you to blow up over this shit with Riley. But you didn’t. You didn’t, man, and that’s huge.” Damon gripped my shoulder, squeezing.

  “I know what’s at stake,” I mumbled.

  “Know what I think?” His brow lifted. “I think you found someone you want to do better for.” He flicked his head over to where Phoebe was talking to a couple of guys at the bar.

  Red hot jealousy coursed through me, and a low growl rumbled in my chest. “She’s made her choice,” I gritted out.

  “She’s just trying to protect herself. That shit with Riley panicked her.”

  “Nah,” I said through clenched teeth. “We’re done.”

  “Really? You believe that?”

  “I don’t need her.” And she definitely didn’t need a guy like me storming into her life and ruining everything.

  “Guys like us aren’t built for relationships.”

  “Speak for yourself.” Damon chuckled but there was something so fucking sad about the sound. “Besides, Rafe seems to be enjoying life on the dark side.”

  That was because Eva was special.

  She wasn’t like most other girls.

  I watched Phoebe with the two guys. They were just talking, but it didn’t stop me from wanting to go over there and claim her as mine.

  Mine.

  Fuck. I really needed to get over myself. She’d made her feelings on us perfectly clear. For all I knew, she was interested in one of them. They both looked like the Alistairs of the world. Dressed in immaculate suits with their hair slicked back and polished shoes. They probably had luxurious apartments in the city and a ten-year plan.

  I didn’t know what I was doing from month to month. It’s why we had Alistair and Letty to keep us on the straight and narrow.

  Phoebe laughed at something one of them said, her eyes twinkling with delight. It drifted over to me, cutting my skin like tiny blades.

  “Relax, they’re just talking.”

  “Yeah.” My teeth ground together again, and I was almost certain I would break enamel. “I need to take a piss.” I got up and headed for the small archway leading to the restrooms. Johnson followed me, waiting by the entrance.

  I slipped inside and braced the counter, forcing myself to take a couple of deep breaths. The liquor burned inside my veins, giving me a slight buzz. But it wasn’t enough.

  After I was done, I washed my hands and left the room, running straight into one of the guys.

  “Hey, man.” He gave me a friendly smile. “I’m Dougie. I’m with Cantor Records.”

  My eyes narrowed. “Good for you.”

  His smile fell as he ran a hand through his hair. “Phoebe was just telling us you’re back on the road soon. She’s a real sweetheart that one.”

  Anger exploded inside me and it took everything I had not to ram my fist into his face. “She’s as good as family.”

  Dougie’s eyes widened, the warning in my voice was clear. “What? Oh, no... no, it isn’t like that. I have a wife. She’s pregnant. I just—”

  “Save it for someone who cares.” I barged past him and stormed back into the bar.

  “Problem?” Johnson asked me.

  “Nothing I can’t handle.” My eyes instantly spotted her across the room. She was staring at me, confusion clouding her eyes. But then Blondie arrived with another drink for me, and our connection was severed.

  “Here you go. Can I get you anything else?” She licked her lips suggestively.

  Dougie slipped past us and made a beeline for his friend and Phoebe. They all glanced my way and she flushed.

  Motherfucker. I hadn’t expected he would run back and tattle to her.

  Phoebe laid her hand on his arm and smiled up at him. My thin rope of control snapped. Two could play at that game, and I never lost.

  Leaning in a little closer, I let my hand snake around Blondie’s waist to the small of her back. “Why don’t you come sit with me and my friends?”

  “Yeah?” Her eyes lit up.

  “Yeah, bring a friend or two.”r />
  “Okay.” She tried to sound confident, but I heard the slight hitch to her words.

  “I’ll be right over there.” I pointed toward where Damon and Hudson were sitting. Hudson had barely spoken two words to me all day, but if there was something we could always bond over, it was our love of hot women.

  I sauntered over to their table and dropped down on the leather bench.

  “You look mightily pleased with yourself,” Hudson said.

  “I come bearing gifts.” I winked at him.

  His brows furrowed. “What do you—oh, now we’re talking.” Hunger flared in his eyes as he watched Blondie and her two friends approach with a tray of drinks.

  “Hey,” she stopped just short of the booth. “This is Cherry and Jasmine. I’m Darcie.” Her eyes held mine.

  “Cute name. Now get over here.” I slung my arm over the back of the booth, waiting for her to slide in. Hudson wasted no time lifting Jasmine over his lap so she could squeeze in between him and Damon. Damon looked less than impressed at our little party for six, but the guy needed to learn to relax.

  I handed everyone a shooter and grinned. “To new friends.”

  “Hear fucking hear.” Hudson pulled his girl close, nuzzling her neck. Her giggles filled the booth.

  Rafe caught my eye across the room and frowned. I ignored him. Letty too, when she gave me one of her ‘what the fuck are you doing?’ glares. The only person I cared about was the one person not paying me an iota of attention.

  Phoebe was deep in conversation with Dougie and his friend. The three of them were laughing and joking. Her body had even begun to sway gently to the music pumping out of hidden speakers.

  “Levi?” Blondie let her fingers slide against my jaw, demanding my attention. “It’s our turn.”

  “Oh yeah, and what are we playing?”

  She leaned over and grabbed another shooter, bringing it to her lips. Taking a sip, she held the liquid in her mouth for a second before swallowing. “You have to guess the flavor.”

  “Oh yeah?” I drawled. “And just how am I going to do that?”

  She leaned in, letting her mouth slide against mine. When I didn’t push her away, she licked the seam of my lips, plunging her tongue deep inside. Sour cherries exploded in my mouth, but Blondie didn’t let up. She practically climbed onto my lap, kissing me like a porn star. I heard Hudson’s cheers of encouragement, alongside Damon’s groans of frustration, but I didn’t stop.