Missed Notes: A Brother's Best Friend Romance (Rixon High) Read online

  “I know, Coach. I just need a little more time.”

  He gave me a small nod, clearly disapproving at me dragging my ass on the decision. But the truth was, I didn’t know what the fuck to do.

  I wanted music.

  I wanted music so much it hurt. But my old man was going to be a problem.

  I left the media room and headed for my locker, not expecting to run into Jude Landry.

  “Hey, man, what’s up?” he asked.

  “Just getting ready for the game later.”

  “Ah, of course. The Tulliver High Tigers, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well good luck, and listen, I’ve been meaning to ask you something…”

  My heart lurched into my throat.

  “Paul is out. It’s a long story but he had to walk. We have a gig next weekend, and since you already know all our material, I was thinking—”

  “Come on, J, you know I can’t.”

  “Can’t or won’t?”

  “It isn’t that simple.”

  “Seems pretty simple to me.” He shrugged. You either want to do us a solid and play with us again, or you don’t.”

  Disappointment flared in his eyes when I didn’t answer. “I see. Well, thanks for nothing, Kandon.” He stalked off before I could try to explain.

  Fuck.

  It had killed me to quit the band, but I couldn’t make it work alongside playing football. And football meant possible scholarships; scholarships I might need one day if my old man decided to withdraw my tuition.

  But now I had the scholarship offers and I still wasn’t any closer to making a decision.

  Because the decision was bigger than just me.

  By the time we reached Pittsburgh, my mood was in the fucking trash.

  “Seriously, man, you need to pull yourself out of it,” Aaron grumbled right as Tulliver High Stadium came into view.

  It wasn’t as impressive as Dawson Stadium, but it was still pretty sweet.

  “Got just the cure for that,” Dylan, one of our safeties, shoved his head over the seat and grinned. “Fresh pussy.”

  “Nah, it’s all about the steady pussy. I’m telling you, Dyl, there’s nothing like fucking your girl—”

  “Bennet,” Coach Ford looked from the front of the bus.

  “Yeah, Coach?”

  “Word of advice, son. It’s a small bus, voices carry.”

  “Fuck”, Aaron muttered under his breath, heat creeping into his cheeks as our section of the bus exploded with laughter.

  “Seriously? What the hell is wrong with you?”

  “What?” Aaron balked. “I didn’t know he could hear me.”

  I rolled my eyes at that. “You’re an asshole.”

  “Sounds like someone is jealous if you ask me.”

  “No one did ask you, Dylan, so keep your opinions to yourself.”

  “Shit, Kandon, I’m just busting your balls.”

  The bus chose that moment to ground to a halt.

  “Okay, ladies,” Coach stood up at the front. “I don’t need to remind you of my expectations tonight. But I’ll say it one more time anyway. While we’re here you are representing not only yourself and the school but our entire town. Do not let yourselves down. Understood?”

  “Yes, sir,” went up throughout the bus.

  “Okay, get off the bus and head inside. Not you, Bennet. You, I want a word with.”

  “Oh, shit,” someone snorted.

  “Me and my big fucking mouth.” Aaron shot me a look of pure panic.

  “Serves you right, man.” I shrugged, laughter rumbling in my chest as I stood up and grabbed my bag off the overhead rack. “I’ll see you inside.”

  “Yeah, if Coach doesn’t murder me and hide my body.”

  We all piled off the bus and headed inside. Ezra fell in step behind me. “You good?” he asked.

  “I’m fine.”

  “You know, she’s going to be okay.” He gave me a sideways glance.

  “So everyone keeps telling me.”

  “He’ll understand—”

  “Nothing to understand.” I cut him off, unwilling to do this right now. We had a game to win. I needed to focus, I needed to get all thoughts of Sofia out of my head.

  But it was almost impossible. She was inside me. Buried deep.

  Distractions on the field could cost you the game. I needed to remember that. Besides, she was coming tonight. She would be right there in the crowd, cheering us on.

  Except she’s still not talking to you, asshole.

  “You’re a good guy, Kandon.” Ezra’s big hand landed on my shoulder, squeezing. “She’s lucky to have a guy like you in her corner.”

  “I’m not—”

  “Yeah, I know.” His lips twitched. “But you want to be.”

  It wasn’t a question, so I didn’t answer.

  “Fuck, that was intense.” Aaron jogged up as we reached the rest of the team gathered in the foyer.

  “At least he let you walk off the bus in one piece,” Ezra snorted. “You need to watch what you’re saying about Poppy around him.”

  “Yeah, yeah, Coach loves me.”

  I slung my arm around his neck and guided him over to one of the huge leather sectionals while we waited for instructions. “But does he love the fact you’re banging his daughter?”

  “Fuck you, Kandon. Fuck. You.” He smirked.

  A couple of guys nearby laughed at our exchange, but we all knew the deal. Coach Ford pretended to ride Aaron about dating his younger daughter, but the truth was, Coach just wanted Poppy to be happy. And the one thing that made her happier than anything is… Aaron.

  “Okay, ladies,” Coach said, passing us. “Follow me.”

  “Hey, Bennet.” Deacon came up beside us. “You think we can win tonight?”

  “Didn’t come to lose, Faris.”

  “Yeah, I know. But the Tigers are looking strong.”

  “We’re stronger.”

  There was a reason Coach had named Aaron captain at the beginning of the season. He might not have Ezra’s natural skill or my stats, but Aaron was a born leader. And even though football wasn’t it for me, I was real fucking glad to have this season with him.

  Less than an hour later, we were bathed in the harsh glare of the Friday night lights. It was a full house, a small section of blue and white standing out against the Tiger’s telltale colors spread out in the bleachers.

  Coach Ford and his assistant coaches were busy going over last-minute strategy, but I was too busy searching the crowd for Sofia.

  Most of the guys usually searched for their family, but I’d long given up looking for my mom and dad. In fact, I couldn’t remember the last time they’d come to one of my games.

  I found her, wedged between her mom and dad. Coach’s wife was also with them, along with Ezra’s girl, Ashleigh.

  A strange pang went through me.

  They were all so close—the Bennets, Fords, and Chases—like one big extended family. In some ways, as Aaron’s best friend, that mantle had extended to me over the years.

  But it wasn’t the same.

  Didn’t stop me craving it though. Imagining what it would be like to have a big, supportive family.

  “Cole, son,” Coach Macintosh called. “Get over here.”

  I shook the intrusive thoughts from my head and jogged over. “What’s up, Coach?”

  “Your head on straight?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Good, glad to hear it. Now get out there and show us what you’re made of.” He clapped me on the shoulder, and I jogged off to the rest of my team.

  Aaron tipped his head when he saw me coming. “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah, ready to kick some Tiger ass.”

  “Damn right.” He grinned. “Get in here, QB.”

  We all closed in, shoulder to shoulder, teammate to teammate. Coach had given us his pep talk in the locker room. Now it was Aaron’s turn.

  “Okay, listen up. We’re five games in. Now I don’t know about you all, but I plan on bringing that championship home again this year. I think I speak for all the seniors here when I say no one wants to graduate a loser.”

  The guys grumbled their approval, a ripple of energy going through the huddle.

  “So we go out there and show these pussies why we’re still the best. Why we’re the ones to beat.”

  “Hell yeah,” someone yelled.

  “Okay get in here. Raiders on three. One… two… three…”

  “RAIDERS!”

  Our crowd echoed the sentiment back at us, hoots and hollers filling the air as we broke apart and jogged into position.

  We’d won the coin toss and Aaron had opted for us to kick off.

  I watched my teammates get ready. We knew the drill. Could recite Coach Ford’s playbook in our sleep. Being a Raider wasn’t just about playing football; it was about living and breathing the damn thing. And while part of me loved it—couldn’t help but get swept up in the thrill of it—part of me resented every second I was out here. On the field. Commanding the team. I hadn’t asked for this. I’d been happy playing wide receiver until this season when Coach needed to replace his star QB.

  I didn’t particularly like the spotlight, and nothing said spotlight like the quarterback’s position. But it was working. Me and Ezra made a formidable duo. Playing together came naturally. His speed and precision down the sideline and my surprisingly accurate throwing arm meant we were 4-1. It meant I had two scholarship offers on the table and a career in college football laid out right in front of me.

  All I had to do was take it.

  “Ready?” Aaron called, yanking me from my reverie. I gave him a curt nod, waiting for the referee to blow his whistle. I called the play, my voice ringing across th
e field loud and clear. The second the whistle blew, Aaron snapped the ball with a grunted, “Hut.”

  I caught it with ease, dropping back to search the field for Ezra. He was right where I expected him to be, flying downfield. My running back cut across me, feinting the pass and took off around the scrimmage while I hiked the ball. It flew like a bullet.

  Clean. Precise. Tracking a trajectory right toward Ezra as he ate up the yard markers.

  A couple of their defense barreled toward him as he pushed down on his knees and leaped into the air ready to catch the ball.

  “Shit, he’s good,” I murmured.

  He managed to duck and dodge the Tigers defensemen to make it all the way into the end zone.

  “Touchdooooown,” the announcer yelled over the PA system.

  Our section of the bleachers went wild, everyone on their feet, clapping and screaming. Adrenaline pumped through me, an undeniable rush of endorphins.

  This… this I loved. Whether it was the football crowd, or a crowd gathered to watch our band back in the day, I loved the thrill of performing. It wasn’t about the spotlight or the glory or even the win, it was about feeling connected for those few seconds or minutes. Being a part of something.

  Without meaning to, while our team all jogged over to Ezra to celebrate, I searched our section of the bleachers for Sofia. She was on her feet with her friends and family, but she wasn’t smiling. She wasn’t even cheering.

  She looked… sad.

  And I knew.

  I knew everything was not all right.

  Not by a long shot.

  “Fuck yeah.” Aaron slapped my ass as he passed me in the showers. “Three games left and we’re so damn close.”

  A few of the other guys cheered but I didn’t join in. I couldn’t get Sofia’s somber expression out of my head.

  I couldn’t get her out of my head period.

  And I couldn’t confide in the one guy I’d always told everything to.

  Well, maybe not everything. But Aaron had and always would be my best friend.

  How could I tell him that a) I was having serious non-platonic thoughts about his sister and that b) I was pretty sure there was more to her meetings with the doctor this week.

  The answer was, I couldn’t. He was high on life. His girl. The team’s winning streak. Sofia getting the all-clear. He was on cloud nine and I didn’t want to burst his bubble.

  “Turn that frown upside down, Kandon.” He grinned. “What’s stuck up your ass?”

  “Nothing. I took a couple of big hits. I’m just cranky.”

  His brows knitted tight. “You’re good though, right? You don’t need checking over by Doc or anything?”

  “Nah, I’ll live.”

  “Thank fuck for that because we’re sneaking out later.”

  “What?”

  His brows waggled. “Me and E were talking earlier and figured we should make the most of it.”

  “Coach will shit a brick if he finds out.”

  “Relax, Deputy Dad. We’ve got it covered.”

  “I’m not sure—”

  “You’ve got to come, otherwise we’ll be an odd number.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Sofia won’t come if she has to play fifth wheel and she needs this, man. After everything that’s happened lately, she could do with letting loose.”

  I wasn’t so sure about that, but once Aaron got an idea into his head he was like a dog with a bone.

  “Sofia’s going?” I tried to keep my voice neutral.

  “Well, yeah. Why wouldn’t she?”

  “I don’t know. I just thought—it doesn’t matter.”

  “You’re coming,” he said. “As your captain and best friend, I’m pulling rank.”

  “Fine.” I switched the shower off and grabbed my towel, hoping he couldn’t see my expression.

  It wasn’t that I didn’t want to go. Sneaking out after a game was part and parcel of the senior year football experience.

  But I knew Sofia wouldn’t want me there.

  And that was a problem.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Sofia

  “We’re going to a frat party?” Poppy shrieked as we piled into the Uber. The one that had met us around the back of the hotel.

  “Relax, Jordan Handell is good people. Besides, it’s not a frat party. It’s just a few people.”

  “What is going on right now?” Poppy protested again, flicking her wide gaze from Ashleigh to me and back again.

  “I think what Aaron means is, we’re going to a college frat party.” Ashleigh smirked, burying her face into Ezra’s shoulder.

  “Like I said Handell is good people. He graduated last year and plays for the Pittsburgh Panthers now. He heard we were in the area and invited us to hang out.”

  “At a college party,” I added.

  “Correct.”

  “And you didn’t think to tell us this before?” Poppy said.

  “Babe, relax.” Aaron dropped a kiss on her forehead. “Your dad and my parents will be in the bar all night. Coach Macintosh already did room checks. Everything is good.”

  “It’s senior year.” Ashleigh grinned. “I say we seize the moment. It’ll be graduation before we know it.”

  Seize the moment.

  Guilt snaked through me, shredding my insides with its thorny branches.

  Ashleigh had her own reasons for wanting to seize the moment. After all, she’d lost ten months of her life after the car accident, and it was looking like she might never get them back. She was all about making new memories to replace her missing ones.

  But it was different for me.

  My clock was ticking.

  Ever since Dr. Peters had dropped the leukemia bombshell, my life felt like it was flashing before my eyes. And it had only been days.

  Days.

  It still felt like a dream.

  “Hey, babe.” Poppy nudged my shoulder. “You okay?”

  “Yeah.” I forced a smile.

  I did that a lot lately. Plastered over the cracks with a smile or a strangled laugh.

  Aaron bought it easily. A little too easily. Poppy and Ashleigh had more questions. What was the plan? Would the transfusion work? What happened if it didn’t?

  But Cole… well, I couldn’t even look at Cole.

  Things were too weird between us. And being crammed in the Uber with him and our friends was almost too much to bear. But the truth was, I needed to get out. I needed to do something—anything—to try and get out of my own head.

  So here I was, off to some college football party, trying to pretend I was just a normal senior, and that my life wasn’t falling apart.

  “I guess we’re here?” Ashleigh chuckled as we pulled up outside a big house. People were already gathered outside, and the front door was open, music blaring from inside.

  “Fuck yeah, let’s go.” Aaron pushed the door open and helped the girls out. Me and Ezra climbed out last, thanking our driver.

  “This is… wow.”

  “How does it feel, man, knowing you might have been here next year?”

  “Nah,” Aaron said, slinging his arm over Poppy’s shoulder. “Pittsburgh was always a long shot. I’ve made my peace with it. Besides, West Chester is going to be epic. Right, babe?” He gazed down at Poppy and my heart clinched.

  They had it all planned out. College. The future. Their future together. So had I until recently.

  God, I couldn’t even wrap my head around that. Would I have to withdraw from college or could I—

  “Sofe?” Everyone stared at me while I blinked at them, trying to figure out what I’d missed.

  “Ready to go in?”

  I nodded. “Of course.”

  Aaron glanced up at the front door and back again. “We came together, we leave together.” His gaze flicked between me and Cole.

  “What?” Cole asked.

  “You and Sofia are the only single ones. If you hook up with anyone—”

  “Seriously? We didn’t come here to hook up, asshole.”

  “Might help remove that stick out of your ass.” Aaron shrugged.

  Poppy and Leigh snickered. But I wasn’t laughing. I was too hung up on the idea of Cole hooking up with somebody.

  “What about you, Sofe? Ready to meet some college hotties?” my brother teased, and I rolled my eyes at him.

  “Grow up, Aaron.”

  “Oh jeez, would you two relax already. It’s a college party. A fucking frat party. This will be us next year. Yee-haw.” Aaron lassoed the air and galloped around in a circle.