Missed Notes: A Brother's Best Friend Romance (Rixon High) Page 2
“Will you just wait a second? Talk to me… let me explain.”
I whirled around and glared at him. “I have nothing to say to you.”
“That’s some bullshit and you know it, Sofe. I only told them because I—”
“Because you what? Huh?” I got right up in his face. “I told you about… things because I trusted you. Because I thought… Forget it. I was wrong to trust you. Stay away from me, Cole.”
I stormed off, but he snagged my wrist, holding me there. “Sofia… I—”
“Yo, Kandon.” My brother’s voice went through the air and as if my skin burned him, Cole jerked away.
“Yeah?” He called back.
“Grab us some extra bags of chips while you’re in there.”
“You got it.”
Cole glanced back at me, panic dancing in his eyes.
Pressing my lips together, I shook my head a little and went inside.
I was stupid for ever trusting Cole.
He was my brother’s best friend. Of course, his loyalty would always side with Aaron.
But just for a second, I’d hoped—
Oh, what did it matter now?
Cole had shown me exactly who he was, and I didn’t have time to waste on a boy who would always choose my brother over me. Not when I was almost certain my life was about to implode.
“Sofia…” he called after me, following me into the house.
“You heard Aaron,” I murmured. “Better not keep him waiting.”
“Come on, that isn’t fair, and you know it.”
My brows pinched as I glanced over my shoulder at him, “Didn’t you know, Cole? Life isn’t fair.”
Then I walked away from him.
Because let’s face it, I had bigger things to worry about.
I didn’t make it to school the next day. Dr. Peters called Dad. My blood work was back early, and he wanted to see us.
He didn’t have to fill in the blanks—it wasn’t good news.
But of course, they never told you that over the phone. No. They went through an entire rigmarole of inviting you to an appointment, of surviving the long agonizing wait until you finally got in the doctor’s office.
“Sweetheart?” Mom squeezed my hand and I blinked up at her. I’d mentally shut down somewhere between leaving Rixon and driving to Allentown. I was numb. Hollowed out. And I hadn’t even heard the words yet.
But I knew.
Call it instinct or intuition or some higher power. Or maybe it was the simple fact that I felt wrong. On the inside. In the deep, dark places you weren’t supposed to feel.
“It could be nothing,” Dad said, his expression full of worry.
“Ash,” Mom whispered.
They knew.
Deep down, they knew it too. But it was their job to remain upbeat and positive. To play down the gathering storm.
The secretary informed us Dr. Peters was expecting us, and we made our way down the hall to his office.
Every step felt like wading through quicksand, my heart crashing violently in my chest.
“Sofia?” Dad touched the small of my back, gently ushering me forward through the open door. Mom glanced back and smiled. Uncertainty glittering in her dark eyes.
“Sofia. Mr. and Mrs. Bennet, it’s good to see you all again.”
“Dr. Peters.” Dad shook his head. “We weren’t expecting a call this quickly.”
“I got Sofia’s blood work back from the lab and wanted to move on this sooner rather than later.”
“Move on what exactly?” Mom shifted in her seat, grabbing my hand.
“We ran a complete blood count with differential. Where a CBC tells us the total number of white blood cells in your blood, a CBC with differential measures the specifics of your white blood cell count, plus all your other blood cell levels, including red blood cells and platelets.
“Sofia’s results indicate an abnormal white blood cell count.”
“Okay, what does that mean?” Dad asked.
I already knew what it meant.
Thanks to Dr. Google, I knew far too much.
“It means, I’d like to schedule Sofia for a bone marrow biopsy today—”
“B-biopsy.” Mom choked over the word. “You think she has… cancer?”
“I believe Sofia may have Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia or CML for short. We won’t know for definite until we run the biopsy. But I suspect that’s what we’re dealing with.”
“Oh God, this can’t be happening.”
“Mya,” Dad reached across me to grab her hand while I sat there, numb.
I didn’t know what I’d expected to happen when I heard the word.
Leukemia.
Cancer of the blood.
Cancer.
It rattled around my skull like nails.
“Sofia, do you have any questions?” Dr. Peters said. “I’m sure this is a lot to take in.”
“Will it hurt?”
“The biopsy?”
I nodded.
“You might feel some brief discomfort. We’ll also perform what’s called a bone marrow aspiration while we’re doing the examination. This means we’ll draw a sample of fluid from the bone marrow. It’ll help us see exactly what we’re dealing with.
“I know how overwhelming this must all sound, Sofia, but I want to reassure you that you’re in the very best hands here. We’re going to do everything we can to make you better.”
His words were white noise against the roar of blood between my ears.
Dad cleared his throat, his face ashen as I peeked over at him. “Thank you, Dr. Peters. Promise me, you’ll take good care of our girl.”
“You have my word.”
His word.
That wasn’t going to save me though…
Was it?
CHAPTER TWO
Cole
“Anything yet?” I asked Aaron as he checked his cell phone before we headed out onto the field for practice.
“Dad said they’ll fill me in when they’re home.”
“That’s good news, right? If it was bad news, they would have called.”
“Yeah.” The word was at odds with the expression in his eyes. “Come on, Coach will have our asses if we’re late.”
Grabbing his helmet, Aaron headed out of the locker room. But I stayed back a second, my cell phone taunting me.
I wanted to text Sofia, to ask if she was okay, but we hadn’t exactly ended things on a positive note last night.
I knew she was pissed at me for telling Aaron and the rest of our friends about the number of times she had fainted. But I hadn’t known what else to do.
When she’d slumped onto the floor at Bell’s, the sports bar we liked to hang out at, I’d panicked. Part of me had expected her to come clean then, but she hadn’t. She’d been ready to cover it up with another lie.
Well, fuck that.
Something was wrong.
I felt it in my gut. Sensed that Sofia knew it too, if the way she was lying to everyone was anything to go by.
If breaking her trust meant getting her the help she needed, then I could live with that.
Even if she never talked to me again.
Defeat rolled through me as I grabbed my helmet and jogged outside to the rest of the team.
“You good?” Ezra asked as I joined the huddle.
Coach Ford wanted to go over some plays for our game against Tulliver High on Friday night. It was at their place, and he expected a win.
He always did.
Coach Ford had been one of the best, back in the day. An NFL legend forced to retire early thanks to an injury. A lot of fans thought he was too good to be coaching high school football at Rixon High, and they were probably right. But Coach Ford loved his job. It showed every time he stepped foot on the field. Every time he commanded us to his will. He pushed us, molded and shaped us. And he’d named me his starting quarterback.
I still couldn’t qu
ite believe it, and I definitely hadn’t wanted it. But here I was. The entire team’s focus on me as Coach beckoned me in closer.
“Now Tulliver will come at you Friday, and they’ll come at you hard. I need you to keep your eyes open and your heads clear, you hear me?”
A chorus of, “Yes, sir,” echoed through me. But it barely touched the gnawing pit in my stomach.
How the fuck was I supposed to concentrate when Sofia was at the hospital being poked and prodded by the doctors?
“Kandon?” Coach barked and my head whipped up.
“Y-yeah?”
“I said, are you ready to run some plays?” His brows furrowed as he studied me.
“Uh, yeah, sure.”
“Everyone, warm up. Coach Macintosh will take the lead. Kandon, you’re with me.” He beckoned over to the sideline.
“What’s up, Coach?” I jogged after him.
“What’s going on with you?”
“Nothing.”
His brow lifted. “Is this about Sofia?”
“What? No! Why would—”
The knowing look he gave me made the denial die on my tongue.
“I’m just worried.”
“And so am I, and so is Aaron and Ezra. We’re all worried, son. But I need you to leave it in there.” He tipped his head toward the door leading to the athletic building.
Easier said than done.
Because I’d hurt her. I’d hurt the one girl—the only girl—that tied me up in knots.
But she was Aaron’s sister.
His twin sister.
Fuck, she was so off-limits it wasn’t even funny. But she was also interesting and kind and loyal, and despite having a serious case of the smarts, she didn’t take herself too seriously.
I liked her.
The truth was, I liked her a whole lot.
And I’d fucked things up.
I’d do it all over again though, if it meant that she finally pulled her head out of her ass and told her parents how sick she felt.
“Look, Cole.” Coach squeezed my shoulder. “I get it, I do. But we have a job to do. And we need to be there for Aaron. If he’s managing to hold it together, then we—”
“I got it, Coach,” I snapped, hating the defensive edge to my voice. But I knew what he was getting at.
“Hey, is everything okay?” Aaron appeared, slinging his arm around my shoulder.
“Fine,” I said. “Ready to run some of those plays we’ve been going over?”
“You know it.” He gave Coach an eager smile, but when his eyes found mine again, they narrowed with concern. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” I lied. “Come on, let’s get out there. We have some Tiger ass to kick Friday night.”
“Cole, is that you?” Mom called the second I stepped foot in the house.
“Yeah, Mom.” I toed off my sneakers and dropped my bag onto the small bench in the hall.
“I’m in the kitchen,” she added, and I smiled.
As if I’d find her anywhere else at this time of the day.
“Something smells good.” I went to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
“I’m making spaghetti.”
“Sounds good.”
Grabbing a can of soda from the refrigerator, I hopped up onto a stool and watched as she stirred the sauce.
“How was practice?”
“I took a few hits.”
My head hadn’t been in the game. Coach knew it. Aaron knew it. The whole damn team knew it. But I couldn’t stop thinking about Sofia, about whatever it was they had to tell Aaron.
“Well, dinner won’t be long, sweetheart. It’s just the two of us tonight.” Her smile thinned.
I flinched. “He’s not coming home?”
“Staying over on business.” The tightness in her voice made the hairs along the back of my neck stand to attention.
“I see.”
“Cole, please—”
“I’ll be upstairs doing some homework.” I got up and walked away. “Shout for me when it’s ready.”
“Okay,” she murmured, going back to the sauce.
My father was a contentious subject in our house. On the one hand, I was glad he wasn’t coming home. It made my life easier when he wasn’t around, doling out his opinions on how I needed to live my life. It was Mom who suffered when he was gone though, and I hated that for her, I did. But she’d made her bed and now she had to spend her days miserably lying in it.
I headed up to my room, closing the door behind me. Diving onto my bed, I grabbed my cell and pulled up my chat history with Sofia.
Cole: How did it go?
On a groan, I deleted it. She didn’t want me to text her. She’d made it pretty clear that she wanted nothing to do with me. But I couldn’t let it go.
I couldn’t let her go.
Fuck. My head was a mess.
For as long as I could remember, it had been me and Aaron. He was my best friend, my ride or die. But Sofia had always been there too. We’d been friends. We’d grown up together. And somewhere along the way, friendship became longing looks and secret smiles.
At least, it had to me.
Needing to get out of my own head, I scrambled off the bed and grabbed my guitar, and dropped down on the floor. The Little Martin LX1 was a familiar weight in my hands, offering me a kind of peace and solitude that holding a football never could.
I was a Raider, sure.
But before I’d known football, I’d had this.
Music.
Closing my eyes, I strummed my fingers over the strings a couple of times, to test the tuning. It had been a while since I’d played. Holding my guitar, making music, it stirred something inside me that had the power to consume me. It had always been this way, but my old man didn’t appreciate my musical talent.
Never had, never would.
So I’d all but given it up. I’d walked away from the band I’d played in with my friends—Jude, Mikey, and Travis. I’d ruined our friendship. All for him. A man who cared enough to assert his wishes for my future but didn’t care enough to consider what I wanted.
Asshole.
I slipped into the rhythm, my fingers carving out the chords with easy familiarity. It wasn’t something you forgot just because you hadn’t played in a while. No, it all came flooding back, lighting me up inside. As easy as breathing.
God, I loved to play guitar.
More than I’d ever loved anything else in the world.
But music didn’t pay the bills; it didn’t put food on the table and money in the bank. It wasn’t a solid plan for the future. It wasn’t the right career path.
To my father, music simply wasn’t an option.
And it was all I wanted.
Well, that and for Sofia to forgive me.
Fuck.
Life was a mess.
Senior year, college applications looming, a future I didn’t want awaiting me if I didn’t find a way to stand up to Curtis Kandon. Whoever said this time was the best time of your life, had clearly never walked a day in my shoes.
It could be worse, asshole.
Guilt flashed through me. Here I was overthinking my future, when Sofia was dealing with the possibility of something being wrong with her.
Fuck.
I dropped my hand, the vibration making the strings plink. Reaching behind me, I patted the bed for my cell phone. Only this time, I didn’t type out a message for Sofia.
Me: Just wanted to let you know I’m here for you if you need to talk.
Aaron: It’s all good, dude. False alarm.
My brows knitted.
Me: False alarm? What does that mean?
Aaron: Her iron levels are still too low. She might need a transfusion.
Me: So everything’s okay?
Aaron: Yeah, bro. You can relax now. I’m fine. Sofia is fine (anemia notwithstanding). Everything is fine.
Me: That’s good news.
Aaron: Damn right it is. Now I’m going to celebrate with
my favorite snack.
Me: Seriously? Just because you don’t actually say the words doesn’t mean I don’t know exactly what you’re talking about.
Since he and Poppy made it official, he had been like a dog with a bone. Literally. He couldn’t keep his hands off his girlfriend and didn’t care who knew it or was around to witness it.
But I guess that’s what happened when you saved yourself for each other.
I envied him. Getting to experience it for the first time with a girl he loved. Learning what she liked and how she liked it.
My first time had been a fucking disaster. So much so, I hadn’t done it again for months after. Jude and Mikey had given me shit about it that whole summer. Before I quit the band. Before everything changed.
Aaron: You’re just jealous you’re not getting any Kandon. I’ll see you tomorrow, bright and early for practice. Four games to go.
I groaned. Aaron’s enthusiasm and passion for our final season as Raiders hadn’t diminished, not even after his three top pick colleges had all turned him down for a football scholarship. But I guess gaining Poppy softened the blow. They were set to go to West Chester next year, while I was putting off my applications. Dad wanted me to follow in his footsteps and go to Drexel for pre-law.
I couldn’t think of anything worse.
I wanted to apply to the University of Michigan’s School of Music, Theatre, and Dance. One of the best in the country, and somewhere I’d had my heart set on it since college was on my radar. But my old man refused to accept it.
So we were at an impasse.
Him insisting I fill out the forms for Drexel, and me putting it off until I found a way to convince him that Michigan was the right choice.
The only choice.
To make things worse, Syracuse and Penn State had offered me athletic scholarships. Something I would need if my old man refused to compromise.
But time was running out.
And he’d never been on my side before, so I wasn’t holding my breath that he was about to start now.