These Dead Promises Read online

  I pressed a fist to my thigh, trying to rein in the tidal wave of emotion inside me. “She’s in The Row,” I said.

  “What? Now? How—”

  “The sister.”

  Zane’s eyes narrowed. “You’re shitting me?”

  “You sound surprised.”

  “Didn’t know she had it in her.” He almost sounded impressed.

  “Could be there’s a lot about her you don’t know?” I arched a brow.

  “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

  “Nothing… just thought that maybe a girl has finally gotten under your skin.”

  He made a choking sound. “Not fucking likely.”

  “So you don’t want to come to the old grain mill with me to meet them then?”

  “Where we going?” Kye appeared with fresh bottles of beer.

  “Birdie is in The Row,” Zane answered.

  “No shit. She coming here?”

  “That’d be okay with you?” I asked.

  “Hell yeah, it’s B. She’s one of us.”

  Something loosened in my chest. It was that simple with Kye. Zane was different. More guarded and suspicious of the world. But with Kye everything was easy.

  “Invite Chloe,” I said. “And ask your mom if we can grab some supplies.”

  “Supplies?” Zane balked. “We’re not taking a fucking picnic.”

  “I didn’t say a picnic, asshole.” But it was B. She was here, and I wanted to make it nice for her.

  Fuck, Zane was right. I was turning into a pussy. But Harleigh was important to me—the most important thing in my whole wretched life. I wanted to be the kind of guy who surprised her, who made her feel special. If that meant grabbing a couple of blankets and some of Ms. Carter’s home-baked cookies, then so be it.

  An idea sprang into my head and I grinned at the guys.

  “Oh no,” Zane grumbled. “I know that look.”

  “What do you say to a little barbecue?”

  “Barbecue? Where the fuck are we going to get supplies for a barbecue?”

  “I’ve got an idea.”

  “This should be interesting.” He rolled his eyes.

  Interesting, maybe.

  Reckless and guaranteed to end up with me and my old man going at it again, most definitely.

  But Harleigh was worth it.

  She was worth every damn thing.

  “You little fucking shit,” my old man bellowed after us as we hightailed it toward my car, arms full of supplies.

  Once a month, my old man usually brought home a ton of meat to grill out. Burgers, steak, ribs… it was one of the few days I saw Jessa happy. She used to make me eat with them. Play happy family. She’d ask me about school, about football, and my friends, and I’d end up saying something to piss my old man off and it would be ruined. So over the years, I’d started making myself scarce.

  “I left you and Jessa enough,” I shouted through the window, laughter rumbling in my chest.

  “You’ll pay for this,” Zane grumbled.

  “Worth it though.” I fired up the engine and watched the blood vessels in my old man’s forehead fizzle and pop as I drove off, leaving nothing but dust in our wake.

  Kye whooped, Chloe giggling beside him. “Seriously, who eats all of this?” she asked, eyeing the bag of bloody meat.

  “Don’t let my old man’s physique fool you, Clo. The guy is an animal.”

  “Last night was fun.” She caught my eye in the rearview mirror and smiled.

  “Yeah.” A lick of heat went through me.

  It hadn’t been fun, it had been… the best night of my fucking life. Feeling Harleigh naked and wanting beneath me. The way her body hugged mine, the way we fit together, so perfect, so right.

  Part of me was pissed that I hadn’t waited. That I’d tainted myself with all the girls before her. Because what I’d felt with Harleigh was like nothing I’d ever felt before.

  “Are Miles and Nate coming?” she asked innocently enough, but it didn’t stop Kye from pinning her with a sharp look. “What?” A knowing smirk played on her lips.

  “I’m serious Clo, Miller is off-limits.”

  “You’re being a dick.”

  “You think I didn’t see you draped over him last night like a cheap fucking throw?”

  “I was not.” She huffed indignantly.

  “Yeah, whatever. And no, Miles and Nate aren’t coming. Right?” He looked to me for confirmation.

  “Right.”

  I didn’t really give a shit if they came, so long as I got some alone time with B.

  I took the road toward the old grain mill. It was somewhere I came to clear my head, to get away from it all and just think. It was also where I’d brought Harleigh last Halloween. The place where I’d touched her for the first time.

  Fuck. Maybe coming back here wasn’t such a good idea. It held memories. Tainted memories. Bittersweet with the half-truths and lies that existed between us.

  “You good?” Zane asked, and I glanced over at him, nodding.

  But the truth was I was nervous. Restless energy zipping through me, making my leg jostle.

  Last night had been urgent, driven by some base need to comfort and protect Harleigh. This morning had been… fuck, it had been perfect, waking up with her in my arms. But space, time, and distance weren’t my friends. It allowed the seeds of doubt to take root and anchor themselves to my soul. Because there were some truths I couldn’t deny.

  Starting with the fact that Harleigh no longer lived in The Row. That she wasn’t right across from my trailer, always there. A stone’s throw away.

  It shouldn’t have mattered; I knew her heart. But her father was a problem.

  A big fucking problem.

  One I hadn’t quite worked out how to fix yet.

  “They’re already here,” Chloe said, just as I spotted Celeste’s Range Rover parked over by some trees. My heart lurched into my throat, blood pounding in my ears.

  She was here.

  B was here.

  This morning, when I’d left her, when I’d watched her walk away, doubt had quickly swept in, tamping down the lingering fire in my veins after my night with her. But she was here.

  She came.

  The car came to an abrupt stop and I shouldered the door open, climbing out, ignoring Zane’s grumble of disapproval.

  He didn’t get it.

  He would never get it.

  I’d spent nine long months without her. My best friend. My anchor. The other half of my dirty, black fucking soul. I didn’t plan on spending another second without her.

  It was that simple.

  Celeste spotted me first, a small smile lifting the corner of her mouth. But I only had eyes for Harleigh as she turned slowly, her breath catching as I strode toward her.

  “Nix,” she breathed, and I pulled her into my arms, pressing my head to hers.

  “Hey, Birdie.” The tension I’d felt since this morning seeped out of my shoulders.

  She slid her hands up my chest, clutching my dark-gray t-shirt. “We have an audience.” Her whispered words made my chest ache.

  “Don’t care,” I murmured, inhaling her. Breathing her in. This, this is what I needed. Her. Me. The two of us facing the shitshow that was life. Together.

  Soft laughter spilled out of her, and she tried to bury her face in the crook of my neck, but I gripped her chin gently, staring at her. Silently telling her everything I felt. “Gonna kiss you now, B.”

  Fixing my mouth to hers, I kissed her slowly. Deeply. My tongue snaked out, licking her lips, tasting her. A whimper escaped her as my tongue found hers.

  Jesus. Kissing her was like a shock to my body. It wanted more. More, more, more. My hand slipped down her spine, clamping around her hip and dragging her closer. “Fuck, you drive me wild,” I said, touching my head to hers again, forcing myself to calm the fuck down.

  “The feeling is mutual.” She gazed up at me all doe-eyed and lust drunk.

  “We should go join the others before I do something reckless.” Like drag her somewhere quiet and finish what I started with that kiss.

  This was new for her. I didn’t want to overwhelm her or scare her away. But the way I wanted her, the need I felt deep inside… it scared even me.

  Harleigh had always been my weakness, but I didn’t think she’d ever realized the power she wielded over me.

  Neither of us went to move though, unwilling to end the moment.

  “Keep looking at me like that, B, and I’m not sure you’ll be prepared for what happens next.”

  “Why?” She swallowed. “What will happen?”

  Sliding my hand against her neck, I pushed her hair away and ran my thumb over the skin along her jaw. “You know.”

  Her eyes flared with heat. No doubt with memories of last night. Of the moment she gave herself to me.

  “I… you’re right.” She flushed. “We should go join them.”

  She was too damn cute for her own good.

  “Come on.” I grabbed her hand and tugged her into my side.

  Zane’s brow quirked up as we approached our friends. Kye already had the disposable grill fired up, and Chloe had spread out the blankets.

  “What is all this?” Harleigh asked.

  “We’re having a barbecue. Isn’t that great?” Celeste grinned.

  “That’s… where did you get all this from?” B glanced up at me.

  “Don’t worry about it.” I dropped a kiss on the end of her nose and went to join the guys. But she grabbed my wrist and yanked me back to her.

  “Nix, what did you do?”

  Irritation flickered through me, but I stuffed it down. “I said don’t worry about it. Help the girls unpack the rest of the food.”

  I shirked out of her grip a
nd walked away, but I could feel her eyes burning into my back.

  Tonight was supposed to be fun. It was supposed to be a chance to do something nice together. I didn’t want her to worry.

  I didn’t want Harleigh to ever doubt this. Us.

  But she knew me better than anyone.

  She always had.

  Harleigh

  “I’m stuffed,” Chloe let out a satisfied groan, patting her stomach. “You’ll have to tell your dad the steak was—”

  “Dad?” I sat up and twisted around to glare at Nix. “You stole the meat off your dad?”

  “Thanks a bunch, Clo,” he grumbled, hooking his arm around my neck and pulling me back down so that my back was against his chest.

  “Nix,” I sighed. I didn’t want him doing anything that could cause trouble between him and his father, especially not for me.

  “Relax, B,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to my shoulder. “It’s not a big deal.”

  Zane scoffed at that. “Tell us that after he’s—”

  Nix must have sent him a hard look because Zane swallowed whatever he’d been about to say.

  A sinking feeling spread through me and it was on the tip of my tongue to ask Zane what he meant. But I knew. I’d always known, back from when we were kids growing up in The Row, just trying to survive. Me, my mother and her addiction to liquor; Nix, his father and his unpredictable temper. Over the years, I’d lost count how many times Nix had turned up on my porch with a black eye or split lip. He hadn’t liked to talk about it back then, but I’d known.

  I’d always known.

  My stomach churned, but Nix’s arms tightened around me. “Stop overthinking it,” he said quietly. “I’ll be fine.”

  “We’re talking about this, Nix.” I twisted to look at him. “Not here, not now, but soon.”

  Intense gray eyes stared back at me, full of vulnerability and pain.

  There was so much we had yet to talk about. Things we’d been through, things we were still going through.

  “I like it out here,” Celeste said, cutting through the heavy tension around us.

  “It’s an abandoned mill. What’s to like?” Zane muttered.

  “I don’t know.” She shrugged, refusing to meet his eyes. “It’s peaceful and it feels off the grid.”

  “Off the—”

  “She’s right, bro.” Kye added around a teasing smile aimed right at Zane. “It is kinda cool.”

  “I bring my girl to all the best places,” Nix said, letting his lips brush my shoulder again, making me shudder.

  His girl.

  His girl.

  The words spun around in my head, giving me a warm fuzzy feeling like a hit of dopamine as Kye started telling Celeste the history of the mill, much to Zane’s annoyance.

  I was only half-listening, too busy soaking up Nix’s solid presence behind and around me. One of his hands had slipped inside my t-shirt, stroking the skin there.

  “First game of the season next weekend. You gonna come support your guy, B?”

  “You all play football?” Celeste asked.

  I rolled my eyes at her attempt at playing dumb, and Zane snorted, seeing straight through her.

  “What?” She glowered at him.

  “Does this little act usually work?”

  “Act? What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  “Come on, Z, man,” Nix said. “We’re supposed to be chilling.”

  “Yeah, whatever,” he conceded, digging in his pocket and pulling out a blunt.

  “Not that kind of chilling,” Nix grumbled.

  “B doesn’t mind, do you?” Zane gave me a wicked grin.

  “Quit being a dick, Z.” Kye threw something at him and Zane snarled.

  “Boys.” Chloe shook her head. “Are Miles and Nate like this?” she asked Celeste, who glanced at me with a confused expression.

  I chuckled. “Someone has a crush.”

  “I do not,” Chloe protested, narrowing her eyes at me.

  “Nate is…”

  “Someone I don’t want to talk about.” Nix nipped my collarbone.

  “Nate Miller is complicated,” Celeste added. “He doesn’t really let people get close.”

  “Except Harleigh, right? You two seem tight.”

  “Clo,” I chided, aware of Nix silent and still behind me.

  “What?” She shrugged. “Nix knows you’re his. You’ve always been his.”

  Her words hit me dead in the chest.

  I had always been his, hadn’t I?

  He just hadn’t realized it until it was too late.

  “Whatever you’re thinking.” He leaned in, whispering against my cheek. “Stop, right now.”

  “How did you know?” I breathed.

  “I know you, B. I know you better than anyone. Want to take a walk with me?”

  “Nix, we can’t just—”

  “Sure we can. Come on.” He got up and offered me his hand. “We’ll be back.”

  Zane muttered something under his breath as he leaned back on his elbows, taking a deep hit on his blunt.

  “Try not to kill each other, yeah?” Nix gave his best friend a knowing look before sliding his eyes to Celeste.

  “Have fun.” She waved.

  It still surprised me how accepting Celeste was of all… this. Me. My past. Nix and the guys. She seemed totally unfazed by it. In fact, she seemed curious. Maybe a little too curious if the tension crackling between her and Zane was anything to go by.

  Nix hooked his arm around my waist and tucked me into his side.

  “Where are we going?” I asked.

  “Somewhere a little more private.” He guided us over to the abandoned mill.

  “Is it safe?”

  “Safe enough.” He dropped a kiss on my head and there was something so intimate about it, so right, that I got a little choked up.

  Silence followed us into the rickety old building. Nix was right; structurally, it seemed sound, but the rest of the place was a mess. The windows had long been blown out, destroyed by the elements and kids looking for a quick adrenaline rush no doubt. Dirt and debris littered the floor, crunching underneath my sneakers.

  “How many times have you been out here?”

  He shrugged. “A few. Usually, I just sit in my car, but when I first started coming out here, I used to explore the place. There’s an office back here.”

  We left the main warehouse and slipped into a hall, the air thick with dust. Anticipation vibrated inside me, making my skin tingle, as my thoughts flickered to last night again.

  A small puff of air left my lips as Nix pulled me into a small room and pushed me up against the wall. “Alone at last.” His eyes glittered in the murky light, provided by a single small window high up on one of the walls. Hands pressed at either side of my head, he leaned in, rubbing his nose along my jaw.

  “This is harder than I thought it would be.”

  “What is?” I raised a brow, though my voice quivered.

  He chuckled softly. “I meant keeping my hands to myself. Behaving.” Inhaling a thin breath, he whispered, “I can’t stop thinking about last night.”

  “Me neither.” My lashes fluttered as I gazed up at him.

  The torrent of emotions bubbling inside of me were how I’d always imagined it would be, when I was just a girl with stars in her eyes and love in her heart. I’d worshiped Nix as a girl. A young, naïve girl who’d truly believed that she’d found her soul mate. The other half of her heart. All the girls, the drama, the endless disappointment of watching him kiss lips that weren’t mine and hold hands that didn’t belong to me had sucked, it had sucked so damn much. But deep down, it didn’t matter because Phoenix Wilder was mine. Just as I was his. And nothing could come between that.

  Nothing but my father.

  The thought was like a lead balloon in my stomach.

  “Harleigh?” Nix slid one of his hands into my hair, cupping the nape of my neck. “What is it?”

  “I hate him, Nix. I hate him so much. What he did… what I did because I thought you…” Tears burned the backs of my eyes as I inhaled deeply.

  “I know, Birdie. I know.” He brushed his lips over mine. “But he didn’t break us. He didn’t break you.”

  Nix’s conviction should have reassured me, but I still had doubts. Because something had broken in me that night. Something I wasn’t sure I would ever get back. Being here with Nix helped. His touch, his heated gaze, and reverent touch all eased the gaping hole inside me. But some scars were simply too deep to heal.