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  As I waited for my body to reach some level of normalcy, my eyes scanned the yard, darting from the half-naked girls draped over bare-chested guys in the huge hot tub on one side of the deck to a couple making out against the wall on the other. My eyes almost bugged out when I realized the guy's hand was tucked up her skirt, as she arched into him. Feeling my cheeks heat with embarrassment, I dropped my gaze, but curiosity got the better of me and I scanned the yard again. Couples were making out all over the place, some girls were kissing each other while guys watched, and some guys were sharing one girl. More than one couple were at second base and one couple was almost hitting a home run...on a sun chair. I had walked straight into an alcohol-fueled orgy.

  Feeling uncomfortable, I hurried back inside the house to find Elena and announce my immediate departure. I tried to remember the route back. When we had first entered the house, the door had opened into a huge reception area with two curved staircases leading up to the first-floor balcony. I had made out hallways, shooting off in each direction, to what I assumed were bedrooms. The snippets of conversation that I had overheard on the walk over informed me the football team, better known as Chastity Fallen, all lived here. All thirty-six of them, and from what I witnessed on the deck, it seemed the team lived up to their name.

  Certain I was heading in the right direction, I rounded the corner of the dimly lit hallway and bumped face first into a wall of abs. "Ahhh, shit."

  "Watch it, beautiful," a deep voice said.

  Cupping a hand to my nose, I craned my neck to see the guy now blocking my path. "Sorry." My voice came out small. It was his eyes. Although I couldn't quite make out his face, they were as cold as ice and looking straight at me.

  "I'm sure you can make it up to me?" He eyed the stamp on my hand, a cocky smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. I brought my hand down, thrusting it behind my back and feeling panic rising in my chest. "Hmm, I don't think so."

  It happened so fast. One minute I was standing with my face to his chest, and the next minute, the guy had me pinned against the wall. I felt him harden against my stomach, and I had to force down the urge to gag or punch him in the face. But as his hands gripped my hips, the anger coursing through me was replaced with terror, and I tried to break out of his hold. "Get the hell off me."

  He laughed, watching, his eyes cutting right through me. The knowing glint in them made my whole body tense with an indecipherable emotion. "Most girls here would pay to be in your position." He brought his mouth down to my ear and whispered, "Pay to have my dick pressed up against them-"

  "What the fuck, man. Leave her alone. Look at her, she's terrified," a steady voice called out from the dark hallway beyond us.

  The guy released his hold on me, and I was able to get a proper look at him. He was tall, at least six-foot. His blond faux hawk was styled to perfection and his ice-cold blue eyes stood out against his light skin. There was no denying that he was gorgeous, in a very I-eat-girls-like-you-for-breakfast way.

  "Lighten up, Pierce, I'm just having some fun. Isn't that right, beautiful?"

  Pressed up against the wall, I tried to will myself invisible, unsure of what to do. Seventeen months ago, I would have kicked him in the balls, but now? Now, I was so broken that I didn’t know how I felt. Not really.

  "Dude, leave it. There are enough girls downstairs."

  My eyes tried to scan the narrow hallway for the owner of the voice, but it was too dark to distinguish him from the shadows.

  Ice eyes stepped back, and relief washed over me. "Fine. Let’s go,” he said to his friend who remained hidden in the shadows. He released me, but not before whispering in my ear, “I’ll see you around, beautiful.”

  My whole body was shaking; his voice was like a million spiders crawling underneath skin. Through squinted eyes, I could just make out the silhouette of the second guy. He was a little shorter and his hair looked darker. As soon as they turned the corner, I gasped, forcing down the tears pooling in my eyes.

  Shit, Ana. Get a grip.

  My body moved on autopilot. The laughter and muffled conversations around me were inaudible as I tried to keep it together.

  "Chica, are you okay? You look like you ran a marathon."

  "I- I'm fine," I panted as Elena pulled me into a hug. My body recoiled at first, but as she held onto me, apologizing for earlier, something unexpected happened. I relaxed; the pain and grief strangling me started to dissipate slowly and I sagged into her.

  For the first time in over a year, someone's touch was comforting and a hint of a smile played on my lips. Perhaps, Chastity Falls was the answer to my prayers after all... Just as long as I could avoid ice eyes.

  Chapter Two

  "Chica, let's go," Elena called from the hallway as I stuffed my bag with emergency pens.

  "Yeah, two seconds," I shouted back, before hurrying out of the room and pulling the door shut behind me. This was it, the first day of classes. I had declined all orientation activities after the party at Chastity Fallen House. Elena tried to persuade me more than once, but I pleaded some fake illness. Between my meltdown after the stamp incident and my run-in with ice eyes, it was all too much. So, I did what I had spent the last year doing—locked myself in my room and hid away.

  "You're in Classics all morning in Carver Hall, right? And I have Biology one-oh-one in the Pauling Building. So, we can meet at like eleven in the student center?"

  I nodded as we descended the steps from our dorm.

  "Are you feeling better? You look better. You missed some party last night. T hooked up with Kyler, a Fallen." She placed a hand on my arm, slowing our pace. "And I might've met someone."

  This wasn't news to me. Elena's bed was still made when I had woken, and she had finally appeared a little after seven still dressed in her clothes from the night before.

  The look of expectation on her face told me that I was also supposed to revel in this moment. So, I took a deep breath, smiled and said, "Okay, I need details. Name, age, major, social security number?"

  Her shoulders relaxed and a slight grin graced her lips, like she was pleased with my reply. Like I had passed some kind of potential friend test.

  "Chica, he is so hot. Like an angel sent from heaven itself. Tyson, twenty, sophomore Chem major. I don't know his social security number yet, but I'll work on it. I can't wait for you to meet him..." She hesitated. "He has this cute friend, Paul, who I think you'd really hit it off with. They go-"

  We picked up our pace and I tuned her out. I had no desire to hear how perfect a couple Paul and I would make. I had no desire to talk about guys at all. I just wanted to go to class, go back to the dorm, eat, sleep, wakeup, and repeat.

  "... Ana. Did you hear me? This is Carver, your stop."

  Elena was staring at me with that strange look on her face again. I knew I was the one who elicited that look. It was the same look my aunt and uncle gave me, the one that broke over Dr. Simmonds’ face when I had stared blankly at the abstract painting on her office wall.

  "Where did you go, chica?"

  I didn't answer—couldn't find the words to even begin to explain my screwed-up life. So, instead, I said, "Eleven at the student center. Good luck, roomie." I enunciated the last word, trying to lighten the tension lingering between us. It seemed to pacify her, and a small smile tugged at her lips. "You, too. See you later. Adios."

  The huge wooden doors to the Carver building were propped open and a steady stream of students entered. I filed in, pushing the hood off my head and shaking out my damp waves. I scanned for signs to the auditorium. White lockers lined the hallway, and as I rounded the corner, the toggle on my jacket caught in one of the gaps.

  "Shit," I muttered under my breath, trying my best to ignore the snickers from the people rushing past me.

  Someone stopped at the locker next to me, but I was too busy trying to untangle myself to acknowledge them. Somehow, the toggle was wedged into the small gap. No matter how much I pulled, it wouldn't budge. "Damn thing."
>
  The locker next to me slammed shut, and I jumped. "Everything okay?" a deep voice asked.

  I looked up and my breath caught. The green eyes staring back at me were the most beautiful things I had ever laid eyes on, sending a pang of guilt through me. I was so entranced that I didn't notice the rest of his face at first, which, as I pulled my eyes back, I realized was equally as gorgeous.

  My cheeks burned with embarrassment as I managed to choke out, "Hmm, yeah. My toggle's caught."

  I tried to shuffle closer to the locker in an attempt to hide, wishing the ground would just swallow me up. It was bad enough that he was talking to me, but I was attached to the locker looking all flustered. Just perfect.

  "Let me have a look." He dropped his bag to the floor and reached for the black elastic tethered to my jacket on one end and the plastic toggle on the other. His fingers worked the toggle and with a small tug, I sprang free. "There." He looked down at me and smiled, sending my heart into overdrive. His eyes...wow, they really were something else.

  "Thanks. Hopefully, the rest of my day will go better." My eyes fluttered down as I acknowledged the moment. I hadn't interacted with—let alone talked to—a guy in sixteen months. To anyone watching us, it would have looked totally normal, but for me, it was huge. Dr. Simmonds would be so proud.

  "Well, my work here is done. I have to get to class. See ya." He brushed past me, and I watched him walk away.

  In their usual fashion, my eyes noticed the little things. The way that his shirt clung to his well-defined arms and broad shoulders. His short brown hair, sticking up in different directions. How his jeans hung low off his slim hips. The small, indecipherable tattoo hidden under the shaved hair at the base of his neck. It looked like wings or some kind of leaf, but I couldn’t be sure. Okay, so my eyes noticed everything, but it wasn't until he disappeared out of sight that my world crashed down around me.

  What in the hell are you doing? my mind scolded. Shaking the thoughts from my head, I hurried to class and hopefully, my salvation.

  I was late. The door opened with a loud creak, and the whole room turned to see who was making all the noise. Sinking into a free seat at the back of the room, I hoped nobody would notice my beet red cheeks.

  "As I was saying before we were interrupted, do not expect this class to be easy. Each and every one of you will earn your grade." The tall slim man down on the stage stalked from one end to the other, his stern gaze eyeing the audience.

  "Name your price, sir," an unidentified voice called out and a low rumble of snickers broke out around me.

  "Who said that? Identify yourself."

  Silence fell over the room, and the man pinched the bridge of his nose and heaved a sigh. "I will not be bought, young man. Anyone who thinks as much should transfer out of this class."

  At first, I thought it was a joke, but there was a note of sadness in his voice and look of defeat etched into his expression that suggested it wasn't a joke at all. What is it with this place?

  The man walked to a small desk at the side of the stage and pressed a button, causing an interactive board to flicker to life. "We start with the classics. Irving, Poe, Twain, Hemingway. You should have all seen a copy of the reading list, purchased, and read said books, but for those of you who did none of the above, catch up. You've got a month before we start comparing works by Poe and Hemingway."

  For the next hour, the professor introduced us to the course with a series of slides and a monosyllabic explanation. After a while, his voice became a robotic beat and I was no longer hearing definitive words, only a jumble of sounds and grunts.

  My eyes wandered from my position at the back of the room. It was a first-year course, so I figured most, if not all, of the students were freshmen. Some yawned, doodling on their notebooks, while others were holding their own whispered conversations. I even spotted one guy, sitting two rows in front of me, asleep. As I chuckled under my breath, my pen started to roll and before I could catch it, it dropped off the end of the table, clattering to the floor.

  A couple of heads turned in my direction, but I ignored their stares and leaned down to pick up the pen. My fingers fumbled around until I grasped it and straightened in my seat. Someone on the end of the row in front of me was turned in my direction, watching me. Except it wasn't just anyone—it was toggle guy. His greens sparkled, widening slightly in recognition as a slow smile spread over his face. We stayed that way for a few seconds, staring at each other, before the redhead sitting next to him placed her hand on his arm and commanded his attention. She glanced behind her, locking eyes with mine. They spoke volumes as they narrowed at me, and I received her message loud and clear: Back off, he's mine.

  The professor’s voice cut through our stare off. "...I want a two-thousand word paper on your favorite classic author, due next week. Class dismissed."

  The room erupted into chaos as students packed up and hurried out of the room. I hung back, preferring to avoid the crush. Besides, I was in no great hurry to get to the cafeteria and endure Elena trying to talk me into yet another party.

  I couldn't help but watch toggle guy and the redhead. She seemed to hang off his every word as they headed up the stairs toward the exit. Toward me. She stood close to him, mirroring his stride, but he seemed less interested in her. When they reached me, she let out a snort of disapproval, but the guy smiled right at me, and my stomach fluttered. It was only subtle, and if I had been moving, I probably wouldn't have noticed, but it happened...I had felt it. The feeling was strange—alien, something I had only ever experienced with one other person, and not in a very long time. The torrent of emotion left me a little winded. The sadness, the memories, the regret...the excitement. It wasn't right, though, to be feeling a rush of excitement after everything. I didn't deserve it.

  Once inside the student center, I headed to the cafeteria where I found Elena wrapped around a burly guy with a coy look on her face.

  "Chica, over here."

  I groaned. The girl was seriously ruining my attempts at blending.

  "Come meet Tyson." The guy pulled his lips off Elena's neck and turned to me. "Tyson Manster. I've heard a lot about you, Savanah Ana Parry."

  You have? I cocked an eyebrow at them both, as I dropped into the seat opposite. "So, my Classics professor is a riot."

  "Gardner? I took that class last year. He's old school but not a bad guy."

  My fingers pushed the fries around on my tray. "Yeah, he was a little intense. I think I tuned out for like a whole hour."

  Elena reached for a fry and I batted her hand away. "Hands off."

  She pouted like a petulant child and Tyson grabbed her face and nibbled her lip. "Eww, Papi," Elena squealed as Tyson pulled her closer.

  My heart ached watching them. The pain rolled out in ripples, until they were waves crashing through my chest into my veins and out to my nerve endings. Danny. I wiped the single tear out of the corner of my eye and concentrated on taking deep, even breaths and avoiding looking across the table at Elena and Tyson.

  Eventually, they came up for air, and Tyson focused his attention on me. “So, Ana, how do you like Chastity Falls?”

  My shoulders bounced in a slight shrug. “It’s okay. Although, something a little weird did happen in class. Someone offered to bribe Professor Gardner for a pass. He didn’t seem to see the funny side.”

  Tyson’s expression faltered, for just a second, and then he laughed. “Freshman prank. The old man gets worked up every time.”

  “But he seemed to take it personally?”

  I didn’t get an answer as three more guys joined us.

  “Elena, Ana, this is Jamie, Nate, and Paul,” Tyson said, fist bumping each of them, and my eyes landed on Paul—the guy Elena had mentioned earlier. He was cute, but it didn’t matter. I wasn’t interested. Would never be interested. Elena made a conscious effort to draw me into the conversation, but it was all too much too soon.

  Stuffing the last fry into my mouth, I rose from the table. “I’m go
ing to check out the library. I’ll see you back at the dorm?”

  Elena smiled weakly, clearly upset that I was bailing. “Sure thing, chica.”

  “Nice to meet you, Ana.” Tyson offered a half wave, and the other guys smiled.

  Instead of going to the library, I headed straight back to the dorm. I didn't mind rooming with Elena—the girl was a sweetheart—but being around her, pretending that everything was fine, was draining. And the worst of it was that she knew. I saw it in her eyes every time she looked at me. It wouldn’t be long before the questions started. I just didn't know if I was ready to answer.

  It had only been a week, but our room already looked lived in. Elena's dresses covered the floor space in front of her wardrobe. My desk was a mess of textbooks, pens, and highlighters. A pair of feathered angel wings hung from our joint noticeboard; Elena's souvenir from the Heaven and Hell party that the student bar in town had hosted during orientation week. Photos lined Elena's bed, each one revealing a snippet of her life back in Santa Fe. My eyes fell on my wall. It remained bare, but then what did a girl who had lost everything have to remember?

  I had an hour and a half until my afternoon class started. After my emotional morning, my head was pounding, so I grabbed the Tylenol bottle from the small cabinet in the shared bathroom and washed a pill down with tap water. Throwing myself down on the bed, I rolled onto my side and listened to the steady rhythm of my heart. Ba-bum, ba-bum, ba-bum. It was hypnotic and my body started to relax, sagging deeper into the bed.