Redemption and Regrets (Chastity Falls #4) Read online

  Redemption and Regrets

  L. A. COTTON

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Redemption and Regrets (Chastity Falls, #4)

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Epilogue

  Redemption and Regrets Playlist

  About the Author

  Acknowledgments

  Sign up for L. A. Cotton's Mailing List

  Also By L. A. Cotton

  Titles by L. A. Cotton

  Fate’s Love Series

  Fate’s Love

  Love’s Spark

  Love Collides

  Chastity Falls Series

  Loyalty and Lies

  Salvation and Secrets

  Tribulation and Truths

  Redemption and Regrets

  The Maverick Defense Series

  Deliverance

  Standalones

  Lucky Penny

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  Published by Delesty Books

  First eBook Edition

  Copyright © L. A. Cotton 2016

  All rights reserved.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and events are the product of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons or events is purely coincidental.

  No part of this book may be reproduced or used in any manner without the written permission of the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages for review purposes only.

  If you are reading a copy of this book that has not been purchased from a licensed retailer, please destroy it. Thank you for your support.

  Edited by Jenny Carlsrud Sims of Editing4Indies

  Cover designed by Natasha Snow of Natasha Snow Designs

  Image: Licensed from Shutterstock

  True redemption is seized when you accept the

  future consequences of your past mistakes

  ~ Unknown

  Prologue

  They say prison changes a man.

  I didn’t think it would change me.

  Already bitter, full of anger and darkness, I didn’t think prison could taint a soul like mine. All I had to do was keep my head down, wait it out, and do my time. Then I could claim what was rightfully mine.

  A lot could happen in four years.

  Being a Donohue carried weight outside the gates. I was feared, respected ... worshiped. But inside, it made me a target. Inmates wanted me to fall, guards wanted me to break, and old enemies wanted me dead.

  I survived—I had the scars to prove it.

  But I changed.

  Somewhere along the line, I grew a fucking conscience. Regrets burrowed their way into my mind and haunted me in my sleep, and I started to care.

  Prison didn’t just change me.

  It ruined me.

  Chapter 1

  "Sign here." The guard pushed a pen across the counter, not picking his eyes up to face me.

  Fucker. Probably couldn't stand the fact I'd made parole. Most of the guards despised me, my name, what my name stood for, but they could all go to hell. I'd served my time. All one thousand four hundred and seventy-three days of it.

  "Personal effects."

  The box slammed down on the counter with a thud, the last memories of my freedom staring back at me. Wallet, cell phone, clothes. All reminders of a life that had betrayed me.

  I retrieved my belongings, pocketing the dead cell phone and wallet but leaving behind the clothes. I doubted they'd fit me anyway. I'd beefed up a lot during my time in Oregon State.

  "Someone meeting you?" the guard grunted like it was too much effort to make small talk, and I shrugged.

  That was the million-dollar question. Was anyone going to be on the other side of the fence?

  Or was I going it alone?

  Because I was going. I was getting as far away from Oregon State as possible ... And I wasn't ever coming back.

  ~

  My feet stepped over the perimeter and the automatic gate clicked shut behind me.

  Free.

  I was free.

  My eyes adjusted to the light. Oregon State was a dank place. Four years was a long time to be holed up in a six by ten cell. I tipped my head back and inhaled deeply, letting the cool air fill my lungs as I squeezed my eyes shut. Breathing in freedom.

  "Donohue, over here."

  My eyes tracked the voice, landing on a guy standing propped against a black Volvo. He flicked his head motioning for me to join him. My senses kicked in, adrenaline pumping through my veins and my fists clenched at my side ready to defend myself ... or attack.

  Did they think it would be that easy? That because they couldn't finish the job inside, I'd fall prey to their traps outside the gate?

  These fuckers really were dumb.

  "Fuck’s sake," the guy muttered under his breath, dropping his cigarette to the ground and dragging a foot over it. "I'm a friend. You can trust me." He tapped the rear passenger side window and it rolled down. My eyes connected with eyes identical to my own, and my heart started to pound.

  Briony.

  "We need to go, like yesterday." The guy glanced around the parking lot and he pushed off the side of the car. "Get in, Donohue." He yanked the door open, and I slid in next to my sister.

  “God, it’s good to see your face.” Briony hugged me tight, tears laced in her eyes.

  I looped an arm around her neck and pressed a kiss to her wild red curls. My family. My only family. Something bolted through me and my body tensed, but I couldn’t be sure if it was anger, regret, or something else entirely. Prison had messed with my head; done a real fucking number on me.

  “Braid, what’s wrong?” Briony pulled back and questioned me with her eyes.

  “Nothing, I’m just tired. It’s impossible to catch a decent night’s sleep in that place.” I glanced back at the place growing small in the distance as the car sped away. I turned back to my sister and offered a grim smile. “Wasn’t sure if anyone would be waiting.”

  Not of the friendly kind anyway.

  “We’ve been watching you,” a voice called from the front of the car.

  “We?” I asked looking at the guy directly in the rearview mirror.

  “You don’t recognize me, do you?”

  “Should I?” I barked not liking the smug look on his face.

  “Braiden, chill.” Briony nudged me as she sank back into the seat. “It’s Luke, one of Da-” Her voice cracked and I stilled clenching my fist again. “It’s okay, you can say it.”

  “Luke, he ... he was one of Dad’s guys. You can trust him.”

  Something stirred in me again, but I shut it down. I needed to get my head on straight and find out what had happened in my absence. Make sense of the world again.

  Luke nodded at me in the mirror. I didn’t recog
nize him, but he didn’t look much older than I was.

  “How old are you?” I asked.

  “Older than you.” The bastard smirked again.

  “Luke,” Briony warned shifting next to me. “Go easy on him, he just got out.”

  He laughed quietly and said, “I’m only playing. I’m twenty-eight. Two years older than you guys.”

  Fuck, he was right. We were twenty-six. Four years of my life wasted in that place. A lot could change in four years. Hell, I’d changed in four years.

  I wasn’t the same guy anymore.

  Not by a long shot.

  ~

  “Braid. Braiden, we’re here.” Someone nudged me and I jolted awake.

  “Shit,” I said scrubbing my hand over my face. “How long was I out?”

  I hadn’t planned to fall asleep, and as I watched the world roll past, I realized I had no fucking clue where we were.

  “A couple of hours.” Briony handed me a bottle of water from her bag. “Welcome home.”

  I glanced over my shoulder at my sister. Something in her voice was off, and I wondered what she was hiding.

  “And exactly where is home these days?” Because it sure as hell wasn’t Chastity Falls.

  “Astoria.”

  Astoria? I looked at Briony to explain, but Luke cut her dead. “A lot’s changed, man, but don’t worry, you’ll be up to speed in no time.”

  My eyes narrowed moving from my sister to Luke. “Number one, I’m not your man, and number two, I don’t give a shit about what’s changed. I just want a warm bed and some decent food.”

  Briony’s hand landed on my arm pulling my attention back. “Braid-”

  I shrugged her off and turned my head to the window. I didn’t want or need this shit. Not here. Not now. I just needed time. Did I feel guilty that I was being a total dick? A little. She was, after all, my sister. She’d been there today when I’d expected no one. But I couldn’t find it in me to care enough.

  Four years.

  Yeah, four years had changed everything.

  ~

  Luke navigated through the unfamiliar streets of Astoria with ease, eventually parking in a small lot behind a building. No one spoke as I followed him and Briony to their apartment. It was awkward as fuck—as if they were waiting for me to snap or lose my shit. But I was adjusting, and after four years inside, it was going to take a while.

  Their place was small—living room with a kitchenette in one corner, two small bedrooms, and one bathroom. Not quite what I’d expected, but strangely, I felt comforted by the small space.

  “You can take the spare room. Get showered, take a nap, whatever you need to do. I have to be somewhere. I’ll be back later.” Luke turned to Briony and something passed between them again. As soon as he was out of the door, I snapped, “Who is he to you?”

  “Fuck, Braiden.” Briony eyed me, and I saw disappointment there ... or regret; it was always difficult to tell exactly what was going through my twin’s mind. “You’re out for two hours and that’s what you want to know?”

  I held my sister’s glare. “Who. Is. He. To. You?”

  “Bastard,” she murmured under her breath, her eyes ablaze. Briony started to turn away from me, but I stepped forward and caught her arm, a sliver of guilt pulsing through me.

  “Wait. I’m sorry, okay? It’s just ... four years is a long time, and you turn up with some guy and I’m just supposed to play ball? Come on, B, you know me better than that.”

  Briony’s eyes clamped shut, and she inhaled deeply. “He’s all I have, and we’re all you have.” Shrugging me off, Briony didn’t look back as she went into her room and slammed the door. The sound ricocheted off the walls and I flinched, the ounce of guilt growing into something more. Something I didn’t want to feel.

  It might have been four years, but I still knew my sister well enough to know that she needed to cool off. Hell, perhaps I did too. After all, she was right; all I had right now was Briony and Luke.

  I made my way into the spare bedroom. It was barely furnished, just a single bed and a single wardrobe pushed up against one wall, but clean towels and some shower gel, a toothbrush, and toothpaste were in a neat pile on the bed. Nothing had ever looked better. I grabbed everything and went in search of the shower.

  Twenty minutes later, I still didn’t feel ready to leave the shower. The jets of hot water streamed over my skin, washing away four years of blood and sweat. When I’d first arrived at Oregon State, I thought I’d serve a few months of easy time before Petrelli, the family lawyer, got me out or Dad paid off the right people.

  Dad.

  Palms flat against the cool tile, I pressed my forehead against the wall and shut down that train of thought. I wasn’t ready to go there, not yet. Maybe not ever. Four years wasn’t long enough to forget—or forgive—his betrayal.

  Voices out in the living room caught my attention, and I switched off the shower and stepped out, wrapping a towel around my waist.

  “... what did they say?”

  “They want to meet with him. As soon as possible.”

  “Luke, he’s not ready. He’s suspicious of you, us. You saw the scar. What they tried to do to him ...” Briony’s voice trailed off. I moved closer to the door to hear better, instinctively rubbing a hand over the scar running from the underside of my jaw to my ear, but their voices had quieted to nothing more than an indecipherable whisper.

  I opened the door and stepped out into the hallway, which was really just an extension of the main living space. Luke and Briony looked up from their conversation.

  “Better?” Briony asked a hint of concern in her voice, and I wondered exactly what she was referring to.

  I responded with a curt nod, and Luke glanced me up and down. “Clean clothes are on the bed. You can thank me later.”

  Ignoring him, I headed for my room.

  ~

  After I dressed and towel dried my hair, I rummaged through my small bag of personal effects. To my surprise, four years wasn’t enough to render the cell phone battery dead, and it flashed to life. The number had been long disconnected, but I still found myself searching the room for an outlet. With the phone charging, I turned my attention to the remaining items. My wallet, watch, and a silver chain depicting the Chastity Falls crest. Our family’s crest. The watch was a goner, but the chain was still intact. I unclasped it and hung it around my neck feeling its familiar weight rest against my skin.

  I almost felt like myself.

  The old me.

  A flicker of rage bubbled up in my chest. Back then, I would have barged into the next room and demanded answers, demanded to know what the fuck was going on—had been going on in my absence. But I was tired and confused and had no fucking clue what was going on.

  And, honestly, I didn’t know what the hell I wanted anymore.

  “Braiden.” A soft knock on the door. “Are you coming out? We ordered pizza.”

  My stomach grumbled, and I found myself reaching for the door handle. Briony stood on the other side. Caution shining in her eyes, she smiled. “You look more like you.”

  I looked down at the black t-shirt and jeans. I guess it was an improvement from the non-descript clothes I’d left Oregon State in.

  “Your hair is darker.”

  I shrugged following Briony into the living room.

  “So how does it feel to be out?” Luke motioned to the small gray sectional in the corner of the room.

  “Strange, I guess. You get used to it.”

  The same four walls.

  Same faces.

  Same routine.

  “Well, you’re free now, man, and damn if we aren’t happy about it.”

  Briony sat beside me and flashed Luke a look, but I couldn’t let it go. Not this time.

  “We?”

  Luke clutched his jaw and rubbed back and forth. “Briony and me, and-”

  “Luke, we agreed,” Briony snapped. “Not yet.”

  “He should know, babe.”


  “Know what?” My voice was perfectly calm, a damn sight different to the war raging inside me.

  “Luke,” my sister warned again.

  Ignoring her, Luke came to sit opposite me in the chair. “Things were bigger than you ever knew, Braiden. Bigger than Chastity Falls, bigger than Marcus Donohue, bigger than all of us. Marcus’s move against Frankie O’Connor just moved up the timeline. Things are coming, Braiden. Changes. Big fucking changes and we want you with us.”

  “Us?” I asked, still processing everything he’d just said. It was as if he was talking in riddles. But as I watched Luke’s eyes sparkle with excitement, I immediately regretted my question.

  “We’re taking O’Connor down. Once and for all. Welcome to the revo-fucking-lution.”

  Chapter 2

  Six months ago...

  “Watch it, Donohue.” Solid muscle collided with my shoulder, but I stood my ground. I didn’t want a fight, had been trying my best to lay low, but I wasn’t about to take a beating like some pussy either.

  During the first six months inside, I’d had my fair share of run-ins with guys all looking to take me down. Bigger than they were, unwilling to pledge to any one gang, too quiet—they didn’t need much of an excuse. It was always the same; they’d come at me, and I would answer with my fist. Once word got around that I was inside for almost killing a guy, the threats came less often and life in Oregon State was quiet—real fucking boring but quiet.

  Until recently.

  I didn’t know much about Levi Shaughnessy, but he knew all about me. He and his crew, a bunch of bare-knuckle fighting, dirty criminals out of Portland, singled me out at every opportunity. I’d managed to stay out of their reach for the last year, using my privileges as an excuse, but from the look on Shaughnessy’s face, my time was up.

  “You came at me, Shaughnessy,” I ground out, flexing the corded muscles in my neck, fists clenched at my sides.

  The fucker turned on his heels and laughed as two of his guys closed in behind me. I glanced to my side. They’d cornered me at one end of the work galley where I washed and folded inmate scrubs. It was a dirty fucking gig, but it kept me out of trouble—for the most part—and earned me brownie points with the guards.

  “Word has it you could be up for early release.”